Goatriders of the Apocalypse

White Slice has a blog

Mr. Reed Johnson has graciously picked up the Official MLB blogging slack that Mark DeRosa left behind when he was traded to Cleveland.  I was looking forward a great deal to White Slice's blog this year, because I figured it was going to be a merry romp to 97 wins and the NL Central crown, and all Reed would have to do is make fun of Lil' Mikey Fontenot all summer.  I was anticipating a different "dwarf" joke for each week, along with the blow-by-blow of Font's reaction from the previous post.


Of course, things haven't exactly happened that way.  Sure, Font blew up good after the first couple of posts, and Reed really hasn't nudged him again, but it isn't because Mikey is a sensitive soul and Johnson deep down cares about his feelings.  No, it's because there's bigger fish to fry - the offense sucks like Jenna Jameson on payday, some of our highest-paid producers aren't producing, and we're wasting some quality starts with some miserable situational hitting, along with some madcap bullpen adventures. 


It would appear arrogant and uncaring if Reed continued to fill his space with car talk and how short the inseam of Font's pants are, and to his credit, he has instead tried the best he can to address the mindset of his ballplaying peers.  He does a pretty poor job, but hey - I wouldn't want one of my peers out here trying to speculate why I'm not designing my databases efficiently, so Reed's left staring at the 2-ton gorilla.  The Cubs offense sucks, he knows who sucks and probably why, so he hems and haws to let us know that he DOES smell the suckage, but in the name of team unity, he isn't going to peel open the lids in OUR presence.


He says that "guys shouldn't alter their approach" to hitting.  On one hand, this is an extension of "don't mess with what got you here".  It's a safe statement to make, but I'm thinking poor Reed is trying to talk to us here, in code.


Now, what you will find if you go out to his blog, and read the comments, is that they come in two flavors: the teenage girls and housewives from Des Moines are gushing with love for him, patting him on the rump and telling him to keep up the good work.  Bleah!  On the other hand, you have the reactionary dickweeds, you just know these mopes put down the Old Style and sausage long enough to splutter that Soto Sucks, Lee Sucks, Soriano Sucks, Fontenot Sucks, trade them all, trade them as far as they can possibly be traded, bring in A-Rod and Pujols and all them...(the actual type of people that China and heimie always accuses ME of being)...anyway, if Reed doesn't read his comments, small wonder.  He ain't getting a whole lot of constructive criticism.


My point of all this today is that some guys SHOULD change their approach.  Why?  Because several of them are NOT practicing what got them to the bigs. 


Soriano, well, he is beyond anything I can offer up here.  He more than any other guy on the team has hurt us the most the past 2 weeks.  Outside of the three homers, has he even hit the ball?  But somehow he will end up with his .270/30/90.  More than anyone, Alfonso has REMAINED true to who he is.  He simply isn't quite as good as he was four years ago.  Ditto Derrek Lee. 


I'm fairly convinced Font is not capable of holding down a starting role for a full season, and he's killing us, too, but until we get back any one of the three guys from the DL that can play third base, he's stuck where he is.  Andres Blanco could never hit big league pitching, and he still can't.  The Bobby Scales Experience has extended LONG past it's expected life.


The two guys, though, that should take a look in the mirror are, of course, Geo Soto and Milton Bradley.  Both have played well in the past, both are not playing well now, and both need a reality check.  Lou Piniella HAS been trying to mess a little with Soto lately, letting Hill get more playing time.  As for Bradley and his "calf tear", if he's hurt, he should be on the DL.  If he isn't, then he should be out there busting his ass.  No way Lou and Hendry should allow him to hold this roster hostage over his contract.  (Bradley earns incentives for number of "days available" - and putting him on the DL risks his losing these incentives). 


I find Bradley's current situation repulsive.  Either suck it up and play the way you had last year, or put yourself on the DL and heal.  That's the choice.  He can't be allowed to do what he's doing now, not with the crap lineup we run out there every day, and shame on Lou and Hendry for allowing this to happen.


I know YOU can't say all this, Reed, but I can.  You're welcome.

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