Goatriders of the Apocalypse

What does the return of Soriano mean?

Tomorrow is the day that a suprising amount of Cubs fans are dreading - the day that Alfonso Soriano returns from his 15-day DL stint. So, what does this all mean?

First, the obvious: Soriano will be batting leadoff and striking out as often as he possibly can, and there is nothing you can do about it. I want all of you to trust me on this: this is a good thing. There is no opposing pitcher in baseball that would rather pitch to Soriano than Mike Fontenot, or Reed Johnson, or Ronny Cedeno. We're a better team with him than without him.

And cheer up - Soriano promises to be more selective at the plate! (And I promise to not make so many cheap shots at Ryan Theriot's expense!)

Second, the nearly as obvious: one hopes that Matt Murton didn't cancel the lease on his place in Des Moines. I could vent out half my spleen on the subject of Matt Murton. (Short version: Nate Silver put it best when he said, "[T]he Cubs’ have developed a nasty habit under Jim Hendry’s tenure of doing everything in their power to degrade a player’s value, and then trading him for pennies on the dollar.") But he pretty obviously has little place on the club as currently constituted.

And with one less spot on the field and in the lineup up for grabs on a regular basis, expect some simmering position battles to start coming to a boil.

The trendy battle to handicap is Felix Pie versus Reed Johnson. Piniella, for his part, punts the question for the time being. But realistically, this was an issue before Soriano went on the disabled list, and the odds of seeing a clear resolution anytime before the All-Star Break seem to be low. Right now, neither looks like a long-term solution: Pie can't seem to make contact and seems to be pressing too hard; Johnson, meanwhile, slugs like a backup catcher. Soriano's return will solve none of that, but nor did his absence do much to clear it up - Mark DeRosa probably played the outfield more than either of them.

And the return of Mark DeRosa to the infield brings up the question of what to do with his replacements, Mike Fontenot and Ronny Cedeno. The only regular playing time Fontenot is earning with his performance thusfar is in Des Moines with Murton; you don't hit .238/.273/.381 for very long in the majors without donning the tools of ignorance.

Cedeno is another story - an instant-gratification sort of guy like Piniella has to be impressed by Cedeno's .364/.417/.545 batting line so far. Nobody thinks Cedeno can continue being A-Rod, but then again, Ryan Theriot isn't exactly Ozzie Smith. [The real reason to like Cedeno over Theriot at this point is the fact that Theriot likes to use his changeup when throwing over to first instead of his fastball.]

For his part, Piniella hasn't said anything firm yet - but there are hints:

"This young man, everywhere he's played he's played well," Piniella said. "And he's produced offensively. We'll find a place to get him in. You know, he played some center field in winter ball."

Then Piniella paused to laugh, realizing the can of worms he had just squeezed open.

"Oh, lord, I shouldn't have even mentioned that. Forget it. But we'll find a place."

Theriot, for one, should be familiar with how this dance could play out - it's how he took the starter's job from Cesar The Wonder Out last season.

No mo' Fontenot

With DeRosa back at second, Cedeño and Theriot sharing SS duties, Lil' Mikey should be bye bye.

However, I hope this doesn't piss off Moose. Who's melon is he gonna hammer in the dugout now?