Goatriders of the Apocalypse


Every once in a while, something strange happens here on GROTA. I'll be blogging away, minding my own business, saying ridiculous things like...

  • Alfonso Soriano was brought on board to babysit Aramis Ramirez! (Which, if you think about it, is about as ridiculous as saying that he was brought on to be a steady leadoff man...)
  • So Taguchi should make the Cubs roster because he looks craaaaayzeeee!
  • The Cubs are going to win 120 games this year!
  • Dusty Baker had his good qualities!

I - or the other guys on this site - will write ridiculous things like that, and people will actually take us seriously! I understand that it's hard sometimes to read intent. It's kind of like the recent article linked by Colin regarding Milton Bradley. If you don't like Crazy Milton -- and in fact, calling him "Crazy Milton" might be a good indication that you don't -- then you might read a tone that wasn't there when he communicated his intent to play every day, even if he's hurt. I think Milton intended to convey a desire to play games. I think he succeeded in convincing people who already didn't like him that he's selfish and will quit on the team if he doesn't feel good.

Similarly, Jason wrote an article yesterday in which he said "Li'l Ryan Demspter struggled last year with the 2008 Cubs, failing to win 20 games for the 10 straight year, and most attribute his struggles to a general inability to fit in south of the Great Lakes." This was hot on the trail of him saying that Corey Koskie has been invited to try out with the Cubs in order to give Dempster the kind of companionship that no American citizen can understand -- while ignoring that Rich Harden is also a Cannuck, but I digress. The day previous, I'd written an article about So Taguchi in which I said that he should make the Cubs because ... "that crazy expression, those insane eyes, the #99 worn on his back, So Taguchi just might be crazy enough to be casted for a Tarentino movie. Maybe he's not crazy enough to tell Derrek Lee he's 'got no marbles,' or to stand on the outfield wall to rob a guy of a homerun, but I've seen this movie and we need our lovable, not-understandable scallywags. Unless Carlos Zambrano really steps up his game in 2009, then Taguchi just might be that guy."

So, I will preface myself by saying that I'm not trying to call out the GROTA Army member who thought Jason was serious, because he's neither the first nor the last to respond to something written here - or anywhere - with a WTF?!!? moment. But I have to admit that his WTF?!!? moment caused meself to have my own WTF?!!? moment because while we do write seriously - and sometimes even intelligently! - about the Cubs, we in no way, shape, or form take ourselves too seriously and neither should you. Really, anytime you read a GROTA article that doesn't have at least one attempt at a joke, then we are not doing our jorbs. And some articles - like Intern Sammy, or a Player Preview about a guy with just better than a snowball's chance of making the team - are all jokes, all the time. (Not necessarily funny jokes, but jokes nevertheless.)

Therefore, I have just one simple request to make to everybody who's reading this. We're don't always have the right opinion, we often don't even have the popular opinion, but if you read something that provokes your WTF!??! reflex, assume that what we wrote was in jest. And if you don't understand it no matter how often you read what we wrote, then at least say something like "I'm missing the joke, but I assume you're kidding" before going all WTF!??! up in our grill. At least it will save you the burden of having to read a long, explanatory article like this one which brings nothing to the table regarding the Chicago Cubs.

On that note


Yarbage is our Ombudsman now

Let him comment on when the Goat Army can't take a joke.

Glad you wrote this article, Kurt

Just because it made me notice the comments on my post. That's just priceless.


I'm confused

Was this post a joke?? Maybe my mom shouldn't have smoked when she was pregnant with me.

That's me. Abe Froman.

I'll admit it. I'm the douchebag. The f*cked up part is, its not like I even was outraged. Or seeing sheets of white hot rage. I read it, and said..... "This is f*cking idiotic" without even questioning the sarcastical (did I just make up a f*cking word?) tone of it.

I'll take my lumps now. Go ahead. Start E-punching me. I deserve it.

Hey, at least you have a

Hey, at least you have a good sense of humor about it. I'll just assume that you are sleep deprived like me.


They make drugs for what ails you guys. Some are even legal.


So, I've read the posts and reviewed the discussion in question. Am I to understand that you guys occasionally are funny on purpose?

more often that not

our humor is unintentional. When we try to be funny, which in my case is 95% of the time, it tends to fall flat.


doing your jorbs??? is this new speak in the twitterverse? But seriously... who takes this stuff so seriously?

South Park reference. "They

South Park reference. "They took my jorb!"

i thought jorb was homestar

i thought jorb was homestar runner

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