Let's be honest for a second. The Chicago Cubs -- versions 2007 and 2008 -- would have never made the playoffs had it not been for Alfonso Soriano. In the first two years with the team, despite nagging injuries and cold starts to the season, Soriano was an offensive sparkplug and a defensive secret weapon in left field. It's true that he would bungle the occassional catch -- and I believe that that's easily fixable if Lou spoke with him about using both hands -- but Soriano's cannon arm effectively ended more than one threat when players tried to test him.

Alright, I didn't actually see the game today as the Gay Pride Parade conflicted, but I'm pretty sure there's nothing to say about a 6-0 loss.  If any other Riders would like to add to this "recap", feel free.  Instead of a classic recap, I thought I'd pass along some stat fun.

The Cubs offense has been bad.  Real bad.  And, of course, this is
nothing new to our loyal readers, but I thought I'd just throw out a
few numbers to highlight the tremendous badness of the Cubs' offense. 
Why do I do this?  Most likely because I hate our readers and want them
to suffer.  Or, at least, that my current working theory.  Anyway,
here's a list of notable figures:

• Abraham Lincoln
• Joe Cocker
• 3.14159...

Hmm, not as elucidating as I had hoped.  Sorry about that.  Let's try a list of stats generated by the woeful Cubs' offense:

• The Cubs have exactly two starters with OPS's above average: Lee
  and Fukudome. Yes, despite all Fukudome's efforts to destroy his
  leading performance indicators, he still has been above average for
  the season.  Everyone else?  Below average.  And if you take out
  Theriot (OPS+ of 97), nobody's within 10% of league average
• Of the Cubs non-starters, only Jake Fox, Reed Johnson and...Bobby
  Scales have been above average.  That's one guy who's been up for a
  week, one guy who's on the DL, and one guy who's performing for
  farmers.  Aaron Miles?  He has an OPS+ of 30.  30.  Thirty. 
  Thiiiiiirrrrrtttty.  Hey Aaron, the suck store called and they're
  running out of you.
• But that's okay, because Ryan Freel's their all time best seller
  with an OPS+ of -22.  NEGATIVE TWENTY TWO.  I don't even understand
  these numbers but I'm pretty sure that translates to a VORP of GO HOME.
• Ted Lilly has hit better than Ryan Freel.
• Honestly, so have I.

Get well, Aramis.  You are missed.  A lot.

So there's your recap.  If anyone else who like to share their favorite The Cubs' Offense Sucks moment, feel free to chime in.

We might go graphic-less tonight because Kurt is getting married. Happens, I guess.

None of today's pitchers were particularly effective. Sucks. Dempster threw 104 pitches, 55 for strikes. That means he threw a lot of balls--49, to be exact. (See what I did there? Subtraction is fun!)

I guess the hitting was pretty good, though. Remember that game where the Cubs had eleven hits, seven walks, and three runs? In today's game, the Cubs had fewer hits, less than half the walks--and more than twice the runs. Something about timely hitting, maybe, since the Cubs only had one extra-base hit (a double from Soriano).

At least Marmol didn't walk anybody? Eh. Whatever.

Congratulations, Kurt. Go Cubs!

News flash - if you start a new job somewhere and before your first day all your new co-workers are claiming that you won't work out there, that you will be a problem, and that it will ultimately end badly, then you're in a lot of trouble.  If, on your first week you accidentally break the espresso machine, nobody will be surprised.  If you nearly come to blows with the mail guy because of a screw-up, everybody will have seen it coming.

In other words, maybe we've made Milton into this monster.

Blame Bradley for his past, and for his "the world is against me" attitude, and for reading his own press and anticipating the boos.  But you are a dirty liar if you say you weren't anticipating them, either.

Still, the Cubs won.  Jake Fox went 3 for 4 with a double and a homer.  Geovany Soto went 2 for 4 on his quest to bat .420.  The bullpen was a little shaky but Randy Wells got his second win a lot easier than it took to get his first.

But Bradley has shown us that he is not able to stand up to the pressure.  Chicago is not, nor has it ever been a land of loving fans and their losers.  The atmosphere there can be great when the Cubs are winning, but Cub fans would turn on their own mothers if she was on the team and batting .220.  Nobody -- except maybe Lou -- is immune.

Milton's not immune, either.  But I don't think he's the virus they are painting him out to be.  He has my sympathy for now, my patient understanding, but let's be honest.  If he keeps up with the floundering he will get nothing from me but scorn.  Milton, it's time to put on your man pants.  Grow the f!_!(k up, kid.

^{Randy Wells (1-3, 2.57 ERA) vs. Jose Contreras (2-6, 5.23 ERA)}

Story Lines

Here we go again. The Cubs win four in a row, and follow that up with four straight losses. During that time, the Cubs have only lost 1 game in the standings so how. IF there is any saving grace it is that the entire NL Central is pretty bad right now.

The Cubs travel to "The Cell" this afternoon for a chance at redemption, among other things. I don't have much to say thanks to a paper I have due. I never thought going back to Grad School would take so much time.

Randy Wells picked up a win in his last start, so maybe he can find a way to win two in a row.

Who's Hot

Jake Fox - I say Fox stays in the lineup for a few days. Just a hunch, but he can hit.

Who's Improving

Kosuke Fukudome, Alfonso Soriano - Both of the slump guys got two hits yesterday. Maybe they can find two more hits today.

Who's Not

Milton Bradley - Lou's finally had enough and has benched Milton for a few days.

Conclusions

The Cubs are in bad need of winning streak, so why not today?

Looks like Jason didn't get 'er done this morning (I blame Rob) and I have no time to do it.  So, graphics only ... feel free to add comments to make this worth its existence

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"We cling to the fact that we will swing the bats better... You gotta give these guys every opportunity to work out of it." - Lou Piniella

"The Cubs four-run, come from behind victory was their largest ever against the White Sox." - @STATS_MLB

"YEEESSSSS!!!!" - Ron Santo

What a game, what a win.

Derrek Lee is today's hero, coming through in a big way with his three-run bomb in the 8th inning. You may be thinking to yourself that Lee has been having a fantastic month; well, check out this slash line for June coming into today's game.

D-Lee in June: .360/.428/.520

After all the crap we gave him, Derrek has quietly been carrying this team through one of their worst months imaginable on offense. He's only got eight RBI to show for it, but it's not his fault.

Credit is also due to Geo Soto, who brought himself home in the at-bat immediately following Derrek's dinger.

Soto's slugging in June is somewhere around .450 after today's game; that number rates higher than his slugging from June or July of 2008. Furthermore, it'll only go up once Soto figures out how to get his average above .222 for this month.

Finally, let's talk about the third offensive hero from today's game, the man who got the W flag flying, the one and only Mr. Alfonso Soriano.

Fonsi pulled a move out of Ryan Theriot's 2008 playbook in the bottom of the 9th today, flipping a single into the opposite field with ReJo on 2nd to plate today's winning run.

Hopefully, today's game is a sign of things to come, especially for these three dudes in particular. Are you convinced?

Let's savor this one, and get ready for Cliff Lee and the Indians.

GO CUBS!

^{Gavin Floyd (4-5, 4.94 ERA) vs. Carlos Zambrano (4-2, 3.39 ERA)}

Story Lines

There has been a lot of debate here the last couple days, and we're all just a little cranky. It's no surprise since the Cubs are just about as bad as can be.

The Cubs try to get back to .500 today against the Sox. Even in these tough times the season is not lost. Granted it would be nice to see some improvement.

I won't be catching many games this weekend due to my trip to San Diego. Hopefully, the Cubs will be in better shape when I return from Ballparks 21 (Pecto) and 22 (Angels) this weekend.

Who's Hot

Milton Bradley - There wasn't a lot to brag about yesterday, but "Don't Wake Daddy" had two hits to bring his average North of .230 again.

Who's Not

Jim Hendry - Come on Jim and do something. We can't just sit around and wait for Aramis to get back and save the day.

Conclusions

The Cubs are in serious trouble, but hope is not lost. Maybe we'll get lucky and Carlos will throw a gem and hit two home runs.

Apparently in the excitement of a teeny tiny little blog war -- and the intra-blog strife of a debate on the culpability of Lou Piniella for this mess of a baseball season -- a game was played today. 

I don't know why but for some reason my Game Recap got eaten.  So this will be an even shorter, abbreviated version of my already short, abbreviated Game Recap.

The Cubs, they did not score many runs. 

Alfonso, he had another 0-fer.

Dempster, he didn't pitch like an ace, walking 6 and striking out 4.

In terms of the stories that dominated the day at GROTA, as far as I'm concerned the mini-blog war is over (which will not stop our terrific friends over at Another Cubs Blog from making their snarky comments, but I do derive a ridiculous amount of pleasure knowing that they read me while I would sooner crap into a diaper and smear it all over my head than read them) and, speaking of craps-into-diapers, regarding Lou:

As far as the anti-Lou, he must be fired sentiment goes, I am apparently alone.  Actually I'm a little shocked at how teflon Lou has been in this situation considering that he's the rebound manager from The Worst Managing Experience of Our Lives.  You'd think that once we're cynical we'd stay that way but I guess two years of winning slaps blinders on even the most scrutinous pair of eyes.

I'll save my Lou rhetoric for a post coming to a blog near you tomorrow morning, but I do have a few questions I'd love to have answered: what would Lou need to do for you to lose faith in him?  And how responsible is he -- and managers in general -- for the output of his team?

Anyway.  The Cubs lost today, dropping to 4 out of first and 1 below .500.  But don't worry - nobody appears keen on winning in the NL Central.  Tomorrow, they play for revenge!

^{Jon Danks (4-5, 4.81 ERA) vs. Carlos Zambrano (4-2, 3.39 ERA)}

Story Lines

The minute we get away from the steriods saga it comes back just in time to ruin baseball once again. At this point who cares who used and who didn't? Baseball let it happen, they're cracking down now, and it is time to move on.

Anyway, there is a game today and every day until the All-Star Break, I believe. This is also the first meeting of the year against the Cross-town rivals, so that's something I guess.

In other news, it's raining in Chicago. I doubt the game starts on time, and I'm not sure there won't be a second rain delay at some point.

Who's Hot

Derrek Lee - Lee's hitting .391 in his last six games and sporting a 13-game hitting streak. Of course he's only got two extra base hits during that time.

Geovany Soto - In his last six games, Soto is 7-for-20 with 1 HR and two doubles. It's still not great, but it's a lot better.

Who's Not

Kosuke Fukudome - Looks like Fukudomes good start to 2009 is about through. It's crazy how he can look so good for time and totally suck the rest. Wait, I guess it isn't that crazy considering he's a Cub. He's 2-for-22 in last six games. Ouch!

Alfonso Soriano - What are we going to do with Sori? We've all seen the crazy slumps and crazy hot streaks, but nothing has last this long. He's an automatic out right now, whos 3-for-his-last-25. No wonder we're .500.

Note from Kurt: At the risk of alienating Kevin, I'm just taking Chris's post from yesterday and moving it up to today