http://sitepalace.com/firedusty/excuses.htm

Come ON, now, peeple...did you think I was just going to let THIS go without comment?

Sure, the man has been gone for two years, we have a new sheriff in town, and he's great and wise and wonderful and all that...fact is, though, the Dustbag wasted at least two, and probably 3 years of our lives, actually, three years and two days if you count Games 6 & 7, as I do. 

No, of course I don't have any PROOF that the reason why Dusty Baker keeps trotting out the impatient, uncoachable Corey Patterson wherever he goes is because CPat is layin' the wood to his daughter.  In fact, recall back in the day, the CPat rumor was him and Gayle Fischer, the formerly passably-hot studio host for Comcast.  But if it is just a rumor, it's a rumor that has a lot of traction.  I love the part that what finally set Dusty in front of a microphone, dude, was that the Houston Asstrolls were asking him about it.  I mean, think about THAT for a second.  Can you imagine the douchebaggery required for a member of an opposing team to go up to the manager and accuse him of 'nepotism' because of a rumored relationship between a player and his daughter.

I mean, say what you want about the grumpy Mets; the Mariners who all hate Ichiro, even the gatdam Sux who take turns calling each other 'slacker'...I think it is safe to go to the podium now and announce the Asstrolls as the "Spent Douchebags of the Year".

As far as Dusty, he's up there "defending his daughter's honor".  Puhleeze, what century is this?  This ain't the Elizabethan Age.  It would be different if, say, he was letting little Darren have unsupervised sleep-overs at CPat's.  But Dustbag's daughter is in her mid-twenties.  If she wants to date a smallish, neurotic, unproductive Major League player, God and the State think there's nothing wrong with it whatsoever.  God bless 'em both.  Go make you some athletic babies.

Dusty is, of course, actually defending his own managerial judgment with this official denial.  There were some (including my own big self) who questioned Baker's decision to bat him leadoff in 2000 freakin Four after his stellar half-season in 2003.  Maybe this was paranoia on our parts, but we figured (correctly) that even with Corey's 2003 high batting average and power, the Cubs did nothing in the standings until Kenny Lofton was installed at the top of the order after Corey's injury.  I didn't mind Patterson batting fifth or sixth that year.  We just were clamoring for a high-OBP guy who was also a smart baserunner.

But, I suppose Baker's decision to put him there in 2004 was not tantamount to sabotage.  Nor was it starting out in 2005, because once again in 2004 Patterson put up numbers, even though he never learned plate discipline nor showed any interest in changing his technique one iota.  But as 2005 dragged on, the same 2005 that CPat posted his legendary .254 OBP and ended with his infamous denial that ANYONE in the Cubs organization ever asked him to change his approach, it was clear that having him bat leadoff cost us huge handfuls of games in and of itself!  For both of their personal protection, the two were separated from one another in 2006, and while in Baltimore, absolutely nothing transpired that would suggest that he learned anything, which led to his release.

Here's where a nasty rumor starts to gain steam - one of Baker's first moves as Reds manager was to go out and get Patterson - curious, when you consider Baker also possessed Jay Bruce on his 40-man roster.  We all got a chuckle out of the signing, but there was no way in God's green earth that Patterson would make the team at Bruce's expense.  Et tu, Bruce?  I consider myself to be a sane man, and this much I can tell you right now, without a second's thought: If I held a major league managerial position, and Corey Patterson played a major role in my losing the role, if I were ever fortunate enough to obtain yet Another managerial job, the very last thing on the face of the Earth I would do is go out and get Corey Patterson.

Or Paul Bako.  Or Jerry Hairston.  Or Kent Mercker.  Or Dave Weathers.

I think I talked myself into it.  Dusty ain't playing Corey because he's planking his daughter.  Dusty is just a dumbass.

Two years ago this month, Cubs fans were in misery. Despite a gut-wrenching end to the '04 season and in spite of a depressing '05 season, Jim Hendry had insisted on letting Dusty Baker play through his contract with the Cubs. Well before August 19th, 2006 rolled around, Cubs fans had known that it was a hopeless, futile cause.

On that day in that season, the Cubs beat the Cardinals in 10 innings to, uh, improve to 53-69 on the season. Yep, the Cubs were 16 games under .500, and it was about to get a lot worse. Apparently satisfied with their late-inning triumph, the team proceeded to flop over and die. They'd lose 18 of their next 21. That's right, they'd go 3-18 following that win. Kind of makes you wonder how in the hell Carlos Zambrano had managed to win 16 that year.

"Oh, we suck. We suck mightily, we are flawed and we are very harmless to the rest of the league," lamented Goat Writer Rob in a post on August 17th of that year. "It can be said in some quarters without immediate fear of rousing the Manteno Whitecoats that with the speed and fielding up the gut, the power on the corners, and the surprising level of success of some of the baby pitchers we've been casting out there as bait, that there is Hope for Next Year, given the Right Trades and Free Agent Signings. (Like either or those will ever happen, but bear with me here)." Turns out he was right, even as he expressed his skepticism.

Jim Hendry would somehow keep his job, even while Dusty Baker was chased out of town by angry fans wielding weaponry. I was not alone in expressing tremendous disappointment in Hendry's return. However, driven by the go-get-'em philosophy of a new team president and the never-to-be-underestimated desire to save his own skin, Hendry and the Cubs opened the coffers and proceeded to acquire players who would almost immediately turn the Cubs into contenders. Meanwhile, Dusty - the guy Hendry wouldn't fire - sat behind a desk with ESPN for a season, spouting wisdom that even befuddled certified geniuses like John Kruk. And yet, despite exposing an entire country to his keen baseball mind, Baker managed to land another managing job.

Now, we are taken full circle. Baker has returned to Chicago for the last time this season, and he will be facing a team that is, in many ways, the antithesis of the group of losers he managed. Where Baker favored veterans at the expense of promising rookies, the Cubs are now a team where every player makes meaningful contributions. Where Baker made decisions that baffled, the Cubs now play with precision and order. Most importantly, where Baker brought out the worst in his team and failed to make the slightest positive contribution, the Cubs are now managed by a guy who seems to do everything right.

Dusty Baker, Cubs past, meet Lou Piniella, Cubs present and future. It took Lou a couple of months to fix the mess you left him, but since June 2nd, 2007, the Cubs have gone 139-94, which is the best record of any team in baseball in that time. Meanwhile, in their first season under Baker's leadership, the Reds are whatdoyaknow, 55-70. Pretty much on par for Baker.

Two years ago today, the Cubs - an already bad team - embarked upon a losing streak that was epic, but not unexpected. They narrowly avoided a 100-loss season. This year, the Cubs - an already great team - may very well be on the brink of a winning streak that is epic, but not unexpected. If they do, if they can, then this time they should not fall short of 100.