Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Ron Santo should be the full time 7th Inning Conductor

Ron Santo with a couple of jamokesMaybe its your favorite part of a ballgame at Wrigley Field, maybe you've become, like myself, totally disgusted at times once the seventh inning stretch rolls around.  Y'all are going to have to give me this indulgence today so I can advance my agenda.

It was over ten years ago that Harry Caray died, and in the wake of his passing, an understandably stunned Cubs front office made the decision to "honor" him by permitting "celebrities" with ties to the Cubs to be "guest conductors" of the seventh inning stretch, the singing of "Take Me Out..."

Like most of what John "Midas" McDonough has touched in his life, it turned to gold.  In probably its ultimate low point, Coach Mike Ditka ran up the stairs to the pressbox, and while huffing and puffing and probably blowing above 0.08 on the breathalyzer, he set the all time land-speed record for the song.  Of course, in THIS particular mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging hick town, anything Da Coaaaacch does is wonderful and santicfied, and thus cemented the Guest Conductor status forevermore.  So what was meant to be a tribute is now entering its eleventh year.

And, I gotta tell you all, it has sucked for a long time, and compared to the exuberance of the post-game celebrations lately, it is lame, tired, and as forced as a Britney Spears intervention.  This year in particular, if you care to relive it via Len and Bob's blog, we have had some real winners. 

For every Gracie and Sut appearence, we have had to sit through: the pouty and disinterested Pete Wentz-Simpson; the tastee but hugely untalented Julianne Hough; Dodger-for-Life Tommy Lasorda; Tim Meadows (WHO?); Simon LeBon??  Tom Arnold???  The Chicago Sun, what?  James VanDerBeek?  What, wasn't Shia LeBeouf available?  And my personal, all time favorite, the spoiled, pampered, entitled Addison Driscoll football team, the very same role models who drew an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty 20 minutes BEFORE kickoff against my school in the state semis.  Asshole dungeating herpes-sores...

Anyway, there is NOTHING more uncomfortable to have to sit through than the "interviews" they do before the stretch (on the radio side) and after the stretch on the tv side.  The "visit" with Tim Meadows was as awkward and painful as an ex-wife dragging her chewed-off fingernails against an old slate blackboard.

On the other hand...

On April 21st, they got it right, the perfect balance of tribute, celebration and mushmouthed senility that Harry himself embraced for the nearly 20 years he manned the booth.  Think about it for a second - WHO is the Biggest Cubs Fan in the World?  Even someone like myself must defer to superior Cubosity.  Someone who, doubtless, will end up paying the ultimate price someday while in the booth, probably after another bonehead play by Ronny Cedeno. 

One man should be the standard bearer.  The tributes to Harry will live on forever, but it is time to anoit Ron Santo as the keeper of the 7th Inning key.  His version of "Ballgame" is just as magical and wonderful as Harry's was, in his own style, and instead of this parade of mopes with the most tenuous of "Cubs ties", let the man who really Bleeds Cubs Blue carry on the tradition.

I am announcing right here and now the formation of a petition that you all can sign and I will then present some how, some way, to Cubs Management to install once and for all, Ron Santo as Permanent Conductor.  I must thank my wife for the idea, for we both share this sentiment. 

Once I get this formed, come right back here to Goatriders for more information on how YOU can make your voice heard!

Thanks for putting my sentiments for the past 2 years into words

Because my usual obscenity-filled tirade going into the bottom of the 7th isn't good enough to mount a petition on.

And God how I love how bad Ron is at singing/hollering the song. But as you say, his fandom shines through beautifully, despite his American Idol handicap.

I only hope he's singing on July 12th when I take my dad to our 2nd MLB game together (woo-hoo Father's Day gift!) Nothing ruins a Stretch like a BS "celebrity" singer.

Nevertheless, I'm still a fan of McDonough, despite this Epic Fail. Here Come The Hawks, people.

Yes, yes, and yes!

I'm fine with a few celebrities who are well known Cubs fans, but this parade of schmoes who sometimes know squat about baseball (Selling milk in the stands? You're a genius, Ms. Pickler) has got to stop. The stretch has basically turned into a commercial for whoever has an album or movie coming out soon.

I don't disagree but...

It's convenient for Ronny to do it since he's already up in the stands and all, but I would argue there are other legit cubs fans who qualify based on their non-shmuck-ness. Like if Bill Murray wants to come sing the stretch, he's okay in my book anytime.

But morning show Mikes? Gag me. Ozzy Osbourne? Sure it was good for laughs, but what the hell was he doing up there in the first place?

Great idea

I am in...this would be a good tribute to Ron, well deserved.

Ron and the stretch

Great Idea, but let's leave a few openings by "strict invitation only" to some of the true celebrity Cubs fans like Jeff Garlin, Bonnie Hunt, Jimmy Buffet, etc. etc.

Spoken like someone who's never had to listen...

...to Dave Otto for an inning on the radio. Please God no.

Spot on

I totally agree that it's time to put to rest having a guest conductor on a regular basis.
Whomever that chick was that did it a few days ago (Julienne Hough?), needs to DIAF along with Joe Morgan. She's hot and tasty but I cant believe she's a professional singer. Hell even Simon LeBon had enough respect for himself to sing it well and do research.

I agree with what others said about having folks with a strong association with Chicago should still be allowed. Cusak needs to get his butt up there this year.
I do love it when somebody that you wouldn't think is related to baseball, gets in there for the interviews and talks BASEBALL, not whatever tripe they are peddling at the moment.

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