Ron Santo should be the full time 7th Inning Conductor
Maybe its your favorite part of a ballgame at Wrigley Field, maybe you've become, like myself, totally disgusted at times once the seventh inning stretch rolls around. Y'all are going to have to give me this indulgence today so I can advance my agenda.
It was over ten years ago that Harry Caray died, and in the wake of his passing, an understandably stunned Cubs front office made the decision to "honor" him by permitting "celebrities" with ties to the Cubs to be "guest conductors" of the seventh inning stretch, the singing of "Take Me Out..."
Like most of what John "Midas" McDonough has touched in his life, it turned to gold. In probably its ultimate low point, Coach Mike Ditka ran up the stairs to the pressbox, and while huffing and puffing and probably blowing above 0.08 on the breathalyzer, he set the all time land-speed record for the song. Of course, in THIS particular mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging hick town, anything Da Coaaaacch does is wonderful and santicfied, and thus cemented the Guest Conductor status forevermore. So what was meant to be a tribute is now entering its eleventh year.
And, I gotta tell you all, it has sucked for a long time, and compared to the exuberance of the post-game celebrations lately, it is lame, tired, and as forced as a Britney Spears intervention. This year in particular, if you care to relive it via Len and Bob's blog, we have had some real winners.
For every Gracie and Sut appearence, we have had to sit through: the pouty and disinterested Pete Wentz-Simpson; the tastee but hugely untalented Julianne Hough; Dodger-for-Life Tommy Lasorda; Tim Meadows (WHO?); Simon LeBon?? Tom Arnold??? The Chicago Sun, what? James VanDerBeek? What, wasn't Shia LeBeouf available? And my personal, all time favorite, the spoiled, pampered, entitled Addison Driscoll football team, the very same role models who drew an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty 20 minutes BEFORE kickoff against my school in the state semis. Asshole dungeating herpes-sores...
Anyway, there is NOTHING more uncomfortable to have to sit through than the "interviews" they do before the stretch (on the radio side) and after the stretch on the tv side. The "visit" with Tim Meadows was as awkward and painful as an ex-wife dragging her chewed-off fingernails against an old slate blackboard.
On the other hand...
On April 21st, they got it right, the perfect balance of tribute, celebration and mushmouthed senility that Harry himself embraced for the nearly 20 years he manned the booth. Think about it for a second - WHO is the Biggest Cubs Fan in the World? Even someone like myself must defer to superior Cubosity. Someone who, doubtless, will end up paying the ultimate price someday while in the booth, probably after another bonehead play by Ronny Cedeno.
One man should be the standard bearer. The tributes to Harry will live on forever, but it is time to anoit Ron Santo as the keeper of the 7th Inning key. His version of "Ballgame" is just as magical and wonderful as Harry's was, in his own style, and instead of this parade of mopes with the most tenuous of "Cubs ties", let the man who really Bleeds Cubs Blue carry on the tradition.
I am announcing right here and now the formation of a petition that you all can sign and I will then present some how, some way, to Cubs Management to install once and for all, Ron Santo as Permanent Conductor. I must thank my wife for the idea, for we both share this sentiment.
Once I get this formed, come right back here to Goatriders for more information on how YOU can make your voice heard!