Goatriders of the Apocalypse

2009 Preview - Geovany Soto

Geo Soto

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I was in Puerto Rico in January, and I learned a few things about the inhabitants. They make any excuse to party, and by party, I mean all the chicks wear the tiniest, thinnest tank tops they can possibly stretch over their bodies, along with the tightest, shortest possible shorts, or perhaps just a skimpy two-piece bikini, or just plain old underwear, and go out in public, drink, and hang all over their thug-looking boyfriends out in the street. It's all about the sexy in teh PR.

So it was unsurprising that Geo Soto was benched in favor of the Ambiguous Pudge in the World Baseball Classic. I mean, Soto is about 5 or 6 times the ballplayer the Ambiguous Pudge iscurrently. But Pudgetrying to showcase himself for a big-league job is a much sexier story than a young all-star catcher doinghis job with quiet competence. And that might be somewhat to blame for the fact that the PR is out of the WBC, the weathered hull ofthe USA team still limps along in the WBC, and that Soto is back in Cubs camp where he belongs. He didn't get much play the past couple of weeks, and I for one could not possibly be happier.

Becausewe do not have the strong, rugged, and devastatingly virile Hank White around anymore. When Mr. Soto cannot answer the bell, we will be relying on eitherThree-Finger Hill or Gabor Bako.

This is why, when Big League Stew was presenting its thoughts about indispensable players the other day, and suggested that we couldleast afford to lose Carlos Marmol, I took the initiative to rebut,to state that THIS young man, Employee 18, our All-Star, Rookie-of-the-year,our middle-of-the-lineup hitter, is going to be counted on more heavily than any other Cub this year.

I mean, if Marmol goes down, we have Kevin.

If Soriano goes down, well...he's been down a LOT the past two years, and we've survived.

If Lee goes down, we got The Hoff.

If one of our starters goes down, we have Heilman in the short term (since Marshall officially claimed the last slot - congrats man!!) and in the long term, Ricketts is forced to make the Peavy trade after all.

If Ramirez goes down...we got some problems, but we can plug Corey Koskie in there, and....what's that? Oh. Maybe not.

It is perhaps a bad thing that we have become so reliant on a kid with so little experience, but as a team, the Cubs really enjoy only a couple of advantages. One is the starting staff, and the other is our catcher. If I can adopt that announcer's voice for a minute: In a world where catching is at an all time low, one man stands out above nearly all others! Geo! Soto! The...Cubs...Advantage!

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