Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Theriot to STL: Cards maintain monopoly on midget futility infielders.

Ever wanted to play in the middle infield for the St. Louis Cardinals?

Are you 5'8" or shorter? Have you failed to show any consistent amount of slugging ability? Does it seem like you get on base a lot, even though you kinda don't? Can you get thrown out while trying to steal second at least once every week? Would you consider yourself "scrappy," and also "white"?

Ladies and gentlemen, the heir apparent to the starting spot at second base for your 2011 St. Louis Cardinals is Ryan Theriot!

The Birds gave up Blake Hawksworth, against whom the Cubs scored nine runs in 10.2 innings, to get the Riot.

HOT STOVE ACTION BABY! YEAH!

As if Ryan Theriot being

As if Ryan Theriot being terrible since 2008 hadn't made it painful enough to wear my Theriot jersey, now he's a fucking Cardinal.

Awesome.

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