Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Oh no! We suck again! (Game Recaps: Cubs something, everyone else more than that)

The other night, the Cubs won a game where Ryan Dempster was on, Derrek Lee knocked in some runs, and Carlos Marmol locked down the save. On Sunday, the Cardinals got similar production from their first baseman and ace starter, and didn't even need a shutdown reliever to win.

On Monday, the Cubs scored one run against the Pirates, losing 2-1 after James Russell allowed a home run and Sean Marshall gave up an RBI single to Bobby Crosby.

Over the past seven games, the Cubs have scored an average of about 2.5 runs per game. And maybe I'm crazy, but I have a really hard time getting upset with a collective pitching staff when they combine to allow three runs or fewer. So you know who I'm pointing my finger at.

I read somewhere this morning that after this most recent loss, Lou basically repeated the phrase, "I don't know," a few times to reporters. Lucky for him, I have some ideas:

- If Aramis hits, bat him sixth. Or seventh. Or eighth, for goodness' sake.

I understand ol' A-Ram has better career numbers than Mike Fontenot, but his OPS has been below .500 (I REPEAT: HIS OPS HAS BEEN BELOW .500!!!) for two months. And it's not like he was hot for a while, and then miserable later on; the man has just not shown an ability to hit. I suppose Lou's thinking is, "Eventually this professional hitter will turn it around and start producing for us." Well, fine. Play the man. But don't put him in the middle of our rallies just yet. Wait 'til he shows you he CAN hit again.

Guys, I know you want him to come back around, and I do too. But his numbers so far this year are just... just vomit-inducing. They're so, so, so bad. It's not bad luck, it's not a slump -- it's just terrible. You can damn well be sure he's gonna exercise his player option for next year, too, and we're gonna be stuck with this for another freakin' year.

- Give Tyler Colvin more starts.

There is absolutely no reason why Xavier Nady should be starting against right-handed pitchers. None whatsoever.

And while all three starting outfielders began the season on major hot streaks, Kosuke and Marlon appear to have cooled off considerably in May -- .253/.348/.367 and .257/.319/.410 respectively. (Soriano's May - .308/.376/.606 - has been better than his April - .292/.358/.542.)

So here's an idea: give Colvin, Byrd, and Fukudome one day off each every three days. Colvin's earned the extra at-bats in June, while Byrd and Fuk simply haven't.

- Continue to start Mike Fontenot at second base against righties.

Ryan Theriot has been terrible this year. Fontenot has not. Fontenot has shown the ability to hit for power consistently at various points in his career; Theriot has not. Why is this so difficult to understand? Hopefully yesterday's idea sticks for long enough to Mike to have a chance to either impress or clearly fail.

Let's try this line-up today, Lou:

Fukudome
Castro
Lee
Soriano
Colvin
Ramirez
Fontenot
Soto

Blah, go Cubs.

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