Goatriders of the Apocalypse

A random rambling on fandom...

There's a lot going on in my brain, so if this gets jumbled, my apologies. I am also trying to water down some of my usual salty language. This rant came about as a result of my weekend trip to Cleveland. Yeah, yeah, I still think the trade involving Mark was stupid. It was also Kerry Wood bobblehead night there.


Can I just say (and my impartial, non-baseball crazed co-workers actually volunteered this) that probably the three cities that qualify as true, serious, baseball fans are: CHICAGO, BOSTON and NEW YORK. Okay, maybe St. Louis. They're pretty nutso, too. We obviously know where my allegiance lies, but gaaaawd are there some a--hats out there claiming to be "fans".

I have run into idiots at Wrigley. I'm thinking the Orioles "fans" from last year. A guy brought a chick that didn't know how many strikes it takes to get an out. Okay, she's not a fan of anything, but I really wanted to shake the guy who brought her. Obviously he wasn't boinking that one for her brains. And then he tried to explain ERA to her...*clutches head*

Or the Orioles dudes who COULDN'T READ THE SCOREBOARD. HOW CAN YOU NOT READ A SCOREBOARD? Oh, that's right. You're probably too used to jumbotrons telling you over and over again in a very pre-school way what's going on.

Speaking of jumbotrons and technology...those are all well and good, but not all the time. For example, if a club relies on an ELECTRONIC SIGN OR BOARD to tell your fans to "make some noise"? YOUR FANS SUCK. You should just know when to yell and scream without having some stupid board tell you. Homerun? Yell! Good defensive play? Yell! Hot baseball player butt? Yell! Your version of Neal Cotts cough up another run like my cat coughs up food after he ate too fast? SCREAM!

Fans who leave early? SUCK. In certain instances I am okay with leaving early, but this goes into the natural disaster, very shitty weather, or a parking situation where you won't get out for HOURS unless you leave a teensy bit early. Leaving in the sixth for none of these reasons? LAME. (I'm looking at YOU, Cleveland.) Yes, your team was getting beat into oblivion, but STAY. Last year, we had that crazy comeback against the Rockies...think about any people that might have left thinking we were "done". Missed a great comeback.

People who go to the ballpark to socialize and wave at the camera while on their cellphone. YOU GO TO THE BALLPARK TO WATCH THE GAME. Never was a commercial more accurate than that Miller LIte one where the big beer bringer guy walks into the suite and asks "do you know what inning it is?" And then he walks up to the glass partition, looking down at the field, bemoaning being locked behind glass, before pounding on it "...AND WATCHING YOUR FAVORITE PITCHER GET LIT UP! TAKE HIM OUT!!" Oh Miller Lite dude, that is so accurate.

NOT KNOWING WHO YOUR PLAYERS ARE. LAME! SO LAME YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED IN A BALLPARK AGAIN. I'm looking at YOU, Cleveland! I cannot tell you how many idiots didn't even know DeRosa was their third baseman. He plays EVERY DAY FOR YOU. Were you all SHAKEN AS BABIES?! Christ almighty, I caught on to who the Indians players were even though I don't care! Jaysus. Grady walked right by us. He was confused by our Cubs apparel, until we very pointedly told him to go get us Mark. Ha.

Poor DeRo looked dejected half the time. I'm so not surprised at his horrible batting average right now. Most of the Indians are barely above .200. How would you feel, coming from a city with rabid fans that sells out practically EVERY game - DAY games included - yelling and screaming and totally into it (sometimes too into yet, yes) ...to some Ohio backwater where people don't even heckle when you play like crap and the seats are empty and people don't even know your name?

Cleveland people didn't even heckle! They were so passive! Hello? Do you have a pulse? God, Cleveland baseball (and shopping!) culture SUCKS. And my co-worker formely of Cleveland was like "I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT."

And so called "fans" who like to troll message boards or even the park going "[your team] SUCKS!" "CHOKE!" There were white trash Twins "fans" like that in Cleveland. They saw our Cubs DeRo shirts and decided to tell us we suck. Dude, do I freaking CARE about the Twins? Did I even talk to you? Did I even look at you until you decided to yell at me? NO. Worry about your own team.

And yes, I swatted that annoying Twins person with my sweatshirt. He didn't like that. Boohoo. Maybe you should stfu!

I was never so glad to get back to Chicago as I was last evening. Chicago is a flawed but beautiful place. We have our problems, but it's home. It's not just a city, it's a city of neighborhoods. People are out and about, there are things to do and places to see. And baseball to enjoy. (Even White Sox fans are better than Cleveland at this point...at least they know what's going on in a game.) I don't care how much the Cubs "choke". At least we know how to watch a game and who our players are.

"Speaking of jumbotrons and

"Speaking of jumbotrons and technology...those are all well and good, but not all the time. For example, if a club relies on an ELECTRONIC SIGN OR BOARD to tell your fans to "make some noise"? YOUR FANS SUCK."


That is the hell I experience whenever I see the Jays play.

Sorry man. My one day foray

Sorry man. My one day foray into that was more than enough for me! I see you or GROTA in general is following me on Twitter, too.

First game (and photos) coming up 5/4. I think I'm way upstairs though.

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