In response to Paul Sullivan
Rob mentioned earlier today the advice that Paul Sullivan has given dejected Cub fans. Paul wrote, "Stop going into Cubs chat rooms and reading Cubs-related blogs, including Desipio, Goat Riders, Bleed Cubbie Blue, Thunder Matt and, of course, Hardball. (But please wait until you finish reading this before you stop reading Hardball)."
I'm tremendously disappointed by this statement. I mean, how dare he? How dare he mention GROTA second? Doesn't he know we're the best? Come to think of it, apart from my Mom, my girlfriend, and my lackies, does anybody know that we're the best? I need to think about this a little further.
In seriousness, I like Paul quite a bit. He's one of the few Chicago journalists who I would be willing to split a dinner bill with, although that might only be because I don't know many of the others by name. I enjoy his snarky column called Ask Paul, in which he is perhaps best known for repeatedly asking haggard Cub fans to stop asking about Kerry Wood and Mark Prior, already! Jeez! However, while he will have my eternal respect until he slanders me, I have to disagree. You should be coming to blogs like Desipio, GROTA, Thunder Matt, and Hardball.
In fact, Cubs blogs should be key to your recovery from the abusive nature of the 2008 season. Cubs blogs should be the first places you go every morning after you crawl out of bed, and they should be your final destination every night before you drunkenly stumble underneath the sheets. We should be a regular lunch-hour target, and you should sneak a peak at us whenever your boss is having a smoke break (as if you don't already, you sly dogs). The reason why is simple - we go beyond venting. We are a daily reminder that there is life after October 5th.
You don't come here to discover us saying, "hey reader, remember that awesome homerun Aramis hit earlier this season? Wasn't that awesome? If only he could've done it in Game 3..." or "Wow, remember Carlos's no-hitter? That was a great moment! I bet you wish he could've saved it for Game 2..."
Hells no, Goat Reader, we're not about painful reflection on this here blog. We're about the future! We're here to tell you stuff! ...important stuff! Stuff that you don't already know!
Therefore, if you want to be a sad sack who never gets over the bitter heartbreak of the 2008 Post Season, then follow the advice of Paul Sullivan. Avoid avoid avoid! But if you want to have fun thinking about the Cubs, if you desperately want reasons to look forward to the 2009 season, then make GROTA a daily stop. We're going to have all kinds of things for you to read about between now and next April, and some of it will even be interesting! Don't believe me? Just wait til you see our Free Agent Preview, our Trades to be Mades Series*, and our Prospects on the Move anthology. You'll be happy you did, I promise.
(*I know, not exactly an award winning name, is it. Huh! "Trades to be Mades." I really am an unfunny dork.)
And folks, if you stumble across Paul Sullivan one night, do us and all blogs everywhere a huge favor. Pull your shirt over your head and your sleeves over your hands and run erratically toward him while yelling maniacally and waving your arms. But don't run into him or anything, just run near him -- y'know, to scare him a little. And if he asks you why, just tell him it was because Al Yellon told you to, okay?
See you tomorrow. And the day after that. And after that, too. You couldn't stay away if you tried, and you know it.