I have lost my sanity
I'll try to edit out the questionable language - sorry for that earlier.
I told myself I wasn't going to post anywhere today. That I was pretty much going on blackout. I'm just so mad.
All of a sudden, us fans are getting razzed for being "quiet" or "apprehensive" by Kaplan* and by TBS and that people at the Cell showed more energy. Yeah, Sux fans did show more energy the other day, but I don't think yesterday's crowd at Wrigley was representative of the fans that did fill our park every day this year.
1. "Apprehensive". YOU try living with a club that breaks your heart year after year after [insert words of choice here] year. And yet we keep coming back. DON'T YOU DARE. We have lost our sanity over this team and been genuinely depressed because of it. I CRIED ON THE TRAIN HOME LAST NIGHT. I CRIED IN MY CAR. I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP. Why? I just want this team to freaking WIN. I think about Ron Santo dying without ever seeing this damn club winning. All I have to look forward to is getting razzed by every [insert words of choice here] who yells "next year losers! cubs suck! cubs choke!" It would be one thing if I were allowed to choke said people so hard their eyeballs pop out and get my satisfaction that way, but unfortunately the law looks down on that. When I get bitten by a radioactive something, you best believe I will use my powers to cleanse the world of every single person who sneers at me regarding the Cubs. Zap! You're gone. I hate you. I loathe you. I want to eviscerate you and dance in your entrails wearing stiletto heels. Oh, did I mention I think I've lost my sanity?
2. People have every right to boo [insert word of choice here] playing. Soriano? SUCKED. ONE HUNDRED THIRTY-SIX MILLION DOLLARS for routinely questionable defense and O FOR FOUR LAST NIGHT! Swingandamiss! I'm having flashbacks of last year. If you're getting paid $136 million that means you are getting paid to PERFORM. Can't handle it? RETURN YOUR PAYCHECK AND GO AWAY. Just the other day, the Chicago media outlets were talking about how our "Big Three" needed to perform UNLIKE LAST YEAR against AZ. That would be: Soriano, Aramis and Lee. We had like what? A (singular) double from Ramirez? Nobody wound up crossing the plate after DeRosa's homer. (DeRosa's about the only sliver of hope I'm clinging to at this point, too.)
3. "Fans". And this is where I want to rip people's throats out. Who gets to go to the playoff games, let me ask you. Season ticket holders, fine, and then the lucky few who win the ticket lottery, fine. But who else? That's right - MLB officials, aldermen, corporate schmucks and then the [insert word of choice here] who can spend a couple grand on Stubhub from the other [insert word of choice here] who SOLD OUT and sold their tickets to the highest bidder. It's like that Miller Lite commercial about section "la de dah". And then they just sit there like bumps on a log. SO NO, us fans with normal paying jobs can't even DREAM of buying playoff tickets. We don't even get to go in the park. All we get is to sit at home or in a bar, and cry our eyes out. *And now that I'm hearing more about Kaplan - ok, fine, I see his point. I dare say he is right about it being a "corporate" crowd last night. At least he's not lumping us average joe and josephines in with that.
One game? Whatever. it's more than that. We all know how psychological this game and this club, especially, is. We're the best club in the NL. I believe that. But it doesn't mean a thing if people get stage fright and choke. If the fans could will this team to victory, they would already be WS winners many times over. At the end of the day, it is the team that has to perform. I cannot take another year like last year. I physically can't. I'm already a raging crying mess after game one. It's not like I'm going to switch allegiances either and be a fan of some other team either. I can't. It's this one or nothing.
Listen, my point is that this club makes even the most stoic person feel like jumping in front of the metra they just rode home to the suburbs on. I don't blame the players of the present for the failures of the past. As a fan, however, you and I carry all that baggage. And just like another dude posted - when all the evidence in the Cubs' past points directly to FAILURE with big blinking lights, it's damn hard not to wail and start pulling your hair at this. We have been conditioned for this behavior. And until a team comes along and breaks free and establishes a new "normal", we have no empirical evidence to believe otherwise.
Edited to revise Kaplan.