As I mentioned briefly in the comments section, a perfect storm of events occurred tonight in order to make tonight's no hitter happen. I'll run through the list for you here:

• The Last Minute Locale. The Cubs refused to fly to Houston. Houston did not want to play outside of Minute Maid. A "neutral ground" was chosen, the ballpark was certainly filled with Cub fans, and the Cubs have practically been given 2 extra home starts this season.
• The Health of the Big Moose. He hasn't been "right" in over a month. He's been downright absent for about 2 weeks. Cub fans everywhere were wondering - would Carlos Zambrano return to form, or return to the DL after this game?
• The Ball Dropping by WGN and ESPN to televise this game. This might be the least-watched no-hitter in the last 15 or 20 years. It was apparently supposed to be on WGN, but as our readers would protest, they were instead innodated with reruns of Welcome Back Mr. Kotter and Sanford and Son. Whoops.
• Rain kept the Sloth at bay. Goat Rider Rob - aka the Uncouth Sloth - was planning a trip up to Milwaukee to see this game, but the rain had other plans for him.  Now, I know that a no-hitter can't possibly compare with hours of vacuuming up water out of his basement in terms of pure fun and enjoyment, but hey, would Carlos have tossed his no-no had the Sloth been a go-go?  (Sorry.  That was perhaps the lamest sentence I've ever written on this blog.)

These three factors led the charge in what was practically destined ... erm, in retrospect ... to be a no-hitter.

But even if Carlos had not been at his best, the Cubs went all out to win tonight's game. Alfonso Soriano led off the game with a homerun, his 28th of the year, and the offense exploded for 4 runs in the 3rd. It was all the Cubs would need.

All told, a slumping Cubs offense accounted for 5 runs off of 7 hits and only 1 walk. Even Carlos got a hit, putting his seasonal batting average at .354.

On the pitching front, well, you "no" already. Get it? You "no"? It's a pune, or a play on words, regarding the no-hitter.

Carlos did it in 110 pitches, 73 for strikes. He axed 10 Astros along the way and, for the first time since 1972, the Cubs have a pitcher in the no-hitter club, and Carlos suddenly looks like the ace we always knew he was.

The Cubs are now an 89 win team, they will almost certainly be the first NL squad to reach the 90-win milestone this season, they have a 7.5 game lead on the Brewers with 15 games remaining, and the Brewers are essentially tied with the Phillies for the Wild Card, while holding a 1 game lead over Houston in the loss column.

The Cubs are also now 4-2 in their last 6. they'll be hosting Milwaukee in Chicago on Tuesday, and I'm predicting that we'll see more than our fair share of Death Blow signs among the crowd.

Oh, and Carlos Zambrano? I am imposing an embargo on his name here and abroad for the next 24 hours. Between now and 10:15 central tomorrow night, he must be referred to not as Carlos Zambrano, but instead as "Holy Shit Carlos Zambrano!" It doesn't matter if you're at work or church, in the company of women
or amongst children, Holy Shit Carlos Zambrano must be called Holy Shit Carlos Zambrano.

Note to Jon Miller, who is so far our most prolific blogger: Seeing as how you have the FCC to contend with, you are excluded.