Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Reed Johnson's SWP Factor (Scrappy White People)

I've been meaning to do this for a while, and thought I'd finally get around to expanding upon Kyle's great statistical invention, the Scrappy White People Factor.  I'll quote Kyle directly to explain the stat: (Everything beyond this point will be in Kyle's own well-crafted words, up until I assign a rating):

We all have an idea of what a SWP is (remember that little turd burger David Eckstein), but the phenomenon of SWP is intriguing.

A lot of people like to see it as a social issue of how we view sports. Others might define SWP as a byproduct of the origins of baseball (originated by scrappy, white dudes). Well after some deep thinking, I’ve concluded that the best way to evaluate and use SWP is as a statistic.

Yes, I am suggesting that SWP should be an official baseball stat…and here is how it should be calculated.

Scrappiness (1-10, 1 having no scrappiness and 10 being extremely scrappy)

This measure is based on how this player presents himself as well as approaches the game. Someone with a high scrappiness rating usually doesn’t have a lot of flair in their appearance or playing style. They like to do the dirty work (do whatever it takes to get on base, like getting hit by a pitch) and their style manifests itself in high socks and/or facial hair.

Average Whiteness
(1-10, 1 not being your average white guy and 10 being a very average white guy)

It goes without saying that a player’s SWP relies somewhat on his ability to be…ya know…white. However, I find that most people attribute an SWP title to a player who seems to represent them (the average fan). People cheer for these guys because they look like they could be our neighbor, our friend, or even us. They give us hope that even we could be a professional baseball player, thus bringing us closer to the game.

Hype (1-10, 1 being they have received a lot of hype before entering the Bigs and 10 being they had no hype at all).

Usually SWP players seem to come out of no where. They often receive little fan fare in the minors and make their name playing scrappy (as defined above) baseball with the big club. This also happens to help them when things go bad. If an SWP player is not performing that well, then he doesn’t necessarily get to hear it from the fans because nobody expected him to do that much anyway. Plus, he’ll get more time to recover from a slump before the fans turn on him.

Athletic ability/size
(1-10, 1 being very athletic and 10 being average athleticism)

A player with lots of athletic ability (Patterson, Pie) usually has high expectations to succeed and thus receives a lot of flak when they fail to meet expectations. For some reason, the average person has a hard time understanding why those blessed with athletic ability cannot utterly dominate in sports. On the other hand, SWP players are often slow, fat, short, or some combination of these things. This, again, brings us into the realm of average whiteness, but this has more to do with abilities. They less the look like athletes, the less we judge them as such.

“Right Way” factor
(1-10, 1 does not play the game the “Right Way” and 10 plays the game the “Right Way”)

We hear this A LOT when announcers or fans try to describe a SWP player. But honestly, what the hell does this mean? By my account, it seems to mean being patient at the plate, hitting the ball to the opposite field, making solid (but not great) defensive plays, not being a showboat, not being afraid to get some dirt on the uniform, and respecting the tradition of the game. So basically, being good at the things that will not make you a superstar.

After you have figured out all these rankings, add them up and divide by 50. This is your SWP rating. Obviously, this number can flux as a player changes over the tenure of a Major League career, thus letting players transit between the status of scrappy, white player and just a regular player.

Kurt: And now, my own personal thoughts on the ratings of Reed Johnson:

Scrappiness: 9
Average Whiteness: 9
Hype: 6
Athletic ability/size: 4 (remember the higher the number the less athletic)
“Right Way” factor: 9

Total Score: 37

SWP rating: .740

Johnson is clearly very scrappy, and obviously very white.  His hype and athleticism hurt him a little.  In terms of his hype, Reed was a gifted player in college, but he wasn't chosen in the draft until the 17th round. 

Athletically, Johnson was a gymnast while growing up who had back surgery a few years ago.  The back surgery makes him less athletic, but the overall superiority of Johnson's physique has to be high, or else he wouldn't have been able to recover and play.

Therefore, I've concluded that Johnson is not as scrappily good as Theriot, although he certainly remains statistically scrappy.  

Oh, and apparently there is a Douchebag Tournament going on over at Another Cubs Blog.  We are in the tornament, as is pretty much everybody.  In the first round, we've been delt a difficult blow - we're competing against Bob Brenley.  At the moment, we hold a single-vote lead on Bob.  I'm not exactly sure if we want to win - in fact based on the first round of votes I don't think anybody is going to overtake Al Yellon - but I suppose it would be pretty cool if we could advance to Round 2, in order to face and defeat either Kinky Reggae of BCB or Manny Trillo, of TCR.*

*We've got a number of writers on GROTA, many of whom could be characterised as being Douchebags.  How come we only get one bracket, while TCR and BCB get many?  Are they more douchey than us?  Should I take that as a compliment?  Eh, I dunno.  Go vote anyway. 

I will admit the Douchebag concept is ambitious

But I am pissed I didn't find out about it sooner. I would have liked to voted for Bad Kermit. They didn't even touch upon the fact that he's a lawyer.

You're in the tourney because one of you asked to be in there.

Just wanted to make that clear. I'm very disappointed you are beating Bob Brenly so far.

Al will be almost impossible to beat as you said.

The ironic thing is that

The ironic thing is that those who actually dislike us may choose to vote against us... ensuring that we won't advance and risk winning the douchebag tournament. (Really, that's so ironic that Alanis's head just blew up.)

And, hey, about those photoshops ...

Randy Johnson = human punching bag. He's been getting lit up this year.

Orc in leaves = I'm a total, unapologetic geek and I play in an OOTP fantasy baseball league which is based in the realm of Middle Earth*. Orcs are dumb, and rather than read "loser leaves down," they interpreted it to say "LOBSTER leaves town." Yes, it's really, really stupid.

(*See that? I qualify to be a douche after all)

Oh, and Smardz+Piniella = Lou loves him so much that he's courting him. Flowers and candy. That one should have been obvious.

i think mastrick

is a strong lock for the elite 8

You're up against Bob Brenly.

It's like Florida Atlantic taking on Duke in the 1st round. You might stay close for awhile, but sooner or later, Brenly is going to run away with it.

It all depends on voter turnout

weak turnout = goatrider advance

strong turnout = Brenly pulling away and leaving us in his dust.

I personally do not consider Brenly douchey, in fact I have a hard time coming up with a single member of the Cubs' employ as deserving of douchebaggery status. Lassie Edmonds excepted, goes without saying.

we seem to be right around 100

votes or so for each poll

its looking like bob is going to pull away

To be clear

unless someone else asked to be in the tourney, we didn't ask to be in, per se. I just expressed surprise that we weren't in it.

That's probably what happened, Jason.

But you weren't in it until then. You're still within shouting distance of Bob Brenly. 58-52 so far. A strong 4th quarter and you might be able to upset Bob, which would actually disappoint me because he should have a free ride to the championship in my opinion. I hope you'll vote for me when my match comes up. I want to win.

Yeah...

I wasn't trying to make a big deal about it, I just didn't want to sound needy or something. It just seemed weird to me that someone would ask to be in the tourney, although that would certainly be in the spirit of the tourney.

Anyway, you've got my vote. I love the tourney and I have to say that your site has become one of my favorite stops, even if I don't comment.

I perused...

thru the tourney members and this guys comments So now I'm wondering, is the author in one of the brackets? He's the one that seems like the biggest douche of them all.

PS...Kurt - if he can't appreciate your photoshops let alone understand them, well, enough said

Meh. Hey, when you come up

Meh. Hey, when you come up with a ton of photoshops, not all of them - or even most of them - are going to be winners.

Me, I take the perspective that anybody who makes fun or hates on people is a total douche ... unless he hates equally. Since they hate on everybody, including their friends, I for one don't take it personally that they hated on us, especially since they prefaced it by saying that we aren't really douches (and, especially, since we asked them to be included).

So, don't get annoyed or upset. It's meant to be in good fun. More to the point, I think it's meant as a way to call Al Yellon a douche in a resounding fashion without having to take responsibility. "Hey, it's not our fault, Al, they VOTED you King Douche! We're just reporting it!"

Chicago Tribune's Chicago's Best Blogs award