Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Thoughts from the ass end of an actual anxiety attack

We have seven weeks to go before the big dance starts, and comparing 2008 to other past Cubs years, this team has a relatively good chance of making it there. That's one way to avoid pissing off Karma by using the "p" word that rhymes with "gheyoffs". Most of us HERE at this point in time are forward-thinking enough fans to realize that October roster composition is the key issue for the Cubs.

By far, the bullpen is the biggest area of concern, but I do not come today to offer the optimal bullpen recipe. Only the fetching Sarah Wood knows how much her hubby hurts, and whether he can finish the year as our closer. Only the theoretically fetching Mrs. Howry can know whether her hubby is tired, or toast. Only the also theoretically fetching Mrs. Marmol (or, based on input from Kyle, assorted St. Louis casino floozies) know whether or not her hubby has enough sack hangin' in his BVDs to be able to throw that sick twisted slidepiece again and again in the biggest situations.

So I cannot in good conscience come out here today and instruct Messrs. Hendry and Pinella in Optimal Cubs Bullpen Construction.

I also cannot instruct the above-mentioned gentlemen on what to do with K. Fooky. The Dome has earned a firm, warm spot on the bench based on his recent offensive woes. But if you do that, you cripple your outfield defense, thus your overall defense. I am not going to go through the permutations here, but I defy you to suggest an alternative defensive arrangement that wouldn't be a gigantic step backward. Furthermore, while your typical Anglo or Latin redass might respond one way to a benching, I honestly don't know how the Dome would react. All I know is that Japanese think WAY different from us. That's not wrong or right, just different. That is why Uncle Lou is being paid the large bux.

In conclusion, I come today to gently suggest that the 25th man on the roster should not be Daryle Ward anymore. It should be Micah Hofpauir. Micah does everything Ward does, a little bit better. He is a bit better hitter, a bit better runner, and a bit better fielder. Granted he still sucks everywhere but 1B, he is no Lou Brock on the basepaths, and he really does not figure in our longterm plans.

But when going to the big dance, don't you want to bring the absolute best dancers you have? Micah > Daryle, so wish Mr. Ward well with his degerative disks and his hugh jass and send him on his way.

A small gesture, perhaps. But I know my limitations, and this is one area I know I am correct in, and I cannot believe this is still an issue. Uncle Lou wants "veteran presence"? What the hell is Lassie Edmonds, then? One guy hanging onto his career by his fingernails is enough...

Ward vs. Hoffpauir

I've got a soft spot in my heart for all Daryle did late last season, but I agree it is time to move on.

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