Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Leading off with Fukudome, and a brief-but-epic bout with silliness

The Tribune reports that Sweet Uncle Lou will be making one of his legendary lineup changes. From this point forward, until Alfonso Soriano returns from what can best be described as a broken hand, Koss-Kay Fook-ooh-dough-may will be batting leadoff. At least, that's how it'll be until Piniella changes his mind, as Goat Friend Paul Sullivan notes in his most recent blog.

Some people are shocked to see Fukudome in the leadoff spot, as it will be a waste of his epic power*. Not to mention the fact that Fooky doesn't draw many walks**, nor does he have much speed***. Point of fact, it makes absolutely no sense at all****, and I will be sending a letter seething with frustration and disgust to the Cubs in order to voice - you guessed it - my frustration and disgust*****. Hmm, is anybody else seeing stars in this paragraph?

(*5 homeruns on pace for 12.
**On pace for 104, OBP of .403
***6 steals in 8 attempts, on pace for 14
****It makes total sense
*****I'll be offering them up my firstborn in a Contract Format letter if they pledge to keep that foreign bloke there all year long)

In other shocking news that makes total sense, it turns out that the Cardinals suck, and, yes, I'm feeling very silly tonight. I shall go celebrate it by watching Futurama and falling asleep at 8:10.*

(*My nickname is Captain Excitement**
**It used to be Admiral Excitement, but I got demoted)

One last thought - I was on Jon Miller's show today, but I got so caught up at work doing the job they pay me for that I didn't have time to blog about it.  Which is okay, because Jon totally schooled me live on air when I said "I haven't caluclated it since the game last night, but I think the Cubs are on pace for 103 or 104 games," to which Jon replied "well, the Cubs haven't played since last night," for which I wept live on the air.  Yep, that's me, radio gold.

Chicago Tribune's Chicago's Best Blogs award