Nothing like a Monday evening twofer.   So, let's get this party started.

Series Preview: Los Angeles Dodgers @ Chicago Cubs

This is a series that is poised to have a little bit of everything.  There'll be some winning, there'll be some losing, some balls will be hit, others will be missed, people will get drunk and girls will expose their under-garments in the bleachers.  

In reality, the Cubs are going through another one of those "rocky periods" where, under a microscope, they look like two pounds of crap in a one pound crap bag.  Kerry Wood blew a save recently.  Alfonso Soriano hopped his way out of our hearts and into the defensive doghouse.  Lou Piniella got so mad, he went out and killed a hobo.  It's a turbulent, chaotic time in the North Side.  Thankfully, that's all bound to change, as the Cubs will shortly host the L.A. Gunshot Wounds ... er, Dodgers.  They're playing the Dodgers.  

L.A. is best known this season for being the home of legendary skipper Joe Torre, who, in his playing days, wielded a baseball bat called Ugly Stick.  Unfortunately for Joe, he hit himself in the face on a handful of occasions during his extensive playing career.   

When not busy losing fist-fights with Jake La Motta, Joe Torre has had a track record of success that only 200 million a year can buy.  I'm not saying that he's a bad manager - I just think that he's probably not the best manager in the history of the free market, which is what he'd appear to be until you realize that George Steinbrenner has bought or sold every Hall of Famer in the past decade except Greg Maddux, who thinks the DH is Satan's Position.

Anyway.  Sorry about the tangent.  I'm not saying that the Cubs are going to route the Dodgers in this upcoming series.  In fact, it's well within reason that their losing woes will continue.  However, LA is a team without its best hitter (Andruw Jones) relying on the crappiest leadoff man in the game (Juan Pierre).   For those reasons alone, they are beatable. 

Point of fact, the Dodgers have many "reasonably good" offensive players, but Torre would give up what's left of his colon for the chance to add a Soriano, Lee, or Ramirez to his lineup.  Unfortunately for him, that's not really much of a bargain on any account.

Let's take a closer look at this Sure To Be Epic Series.

Monday, May 26th - Ryan Dempster vs. Chad Billingsly

You know, this is truly a game that could go either way.  Dempster is off to a fantastic start, but Billingsly is a talented young righty on pace to strike out more batters than innings pitched.  Billingsly has a career ERA of 3.55 in 294.1 innings pitched, along with 23 wins.  But, let's be honest, the Cubs will find a way to win.  I'm not sure how I know, but I know it will happen.  Perhaps Derrek Lee will get to Billingsly early and Aramis will deal a death blow late in the game.  ...ahem.  Moving on.

Tuesday, May 27th - Sean Gallagher vs. Hiroki Kuroda

This is probably a make-or-break game for Gallagher.  He's on the bubble, and after a rough start against Houston, Lou's got to have one finger on the eject button.  Personally, I would like to see the youngster throw at least two more starts, maybe three, no matter what happens tomorrow.  Realistically, he's got to pitch a strong game for that to happen.

Hiroki Kuroda, apart from having a hilarious name (I'm not sure why, I just think it sounds funny), is 33 years old, in his rookie season, has won 2 and lost 3, and has an ERA of 3.48.  He's competent but not flamboyant, and I fully expect him to put one in the ear of Fukudome.  Why am I confident that Kuroda will toss a heater at Koss-Kay?  Why, because that's what I would do, of course.  Petty and pointlessly stupid?  Who, me?

Wednesday, May 28th - Carlos Zambrano vs. Carlos Zambrano's Bitch, aka Derek Lowe

Okay, so maybe I'm being a smidgen harsh on Derek Lowe.  It's not like Carlos is going to personally own Lowe, it's more that, like pretty much every other team he's faced this year, the Cubs are going to tee off on him.  I actually like Lowe, it's just that he's the Gil of the baseball world, chuckling nervously while saying 'you wouldn't exploit ol' Gil's so-called fastball, would ya?  I really need to get this out here and the skipper is getting ready to cut me."  Lowe has already been in LA for four years, and he's been mostly pretty good, but this year he's been two shades of brutal.   

Carlos Zambrano, meanwhile, appears determined to not only win 20 games this year, but he also seems intent on winning pretty much every game he pitches.  That's got to be a nice way to boost the confidence level of your team.  

Predictions: I'm not sure how I know this, but I can fearlessly predict that L.A. won't sweep.  Something tells me the Cubs will win at least one of these three games.  

Point of fact, I expect Chicago to take at least two.  If Gallagher can win his game, then the Cubs should sweep. 

And now, onto the first game recap.

Game Recap: Cubs 3, Dodgers 1

The Cubs are clearly hurting right now.  Not physically, but offensively.  Fukudome has been slumping, Soriano forgot to hit as quickly as he relearned how, Geovany Soto hasn't killed the ball the last two or three days, and oh, did we mention that Jim Edmonds sucks?  

That said, the Cubs were able to get the big hits they needed to win this game.  Points to the heart of the lineup for doing their job.  Derrek Lee smacked a first-inning homer, and Aramis Ramirez landed the Finish Them Death Blow in the 8th.  And, although it did not directly contribute to scoring a run today, Alfonso Soriano drew 2 walks.  That's pretty rare, and pretty cool.

Ryan Dempster also remains shockingly effective.  He went 7 strong today, walking 3.  Lou was then able to turn to Bob Howry to deliver a stressful inning of relief (where he loaded the bases before escaping), and Kerry Wood rebounded and delivered a stress-free save.  Now, the Cubs just need to do it again... two more times.

Oh, and say hello to Jeff Kent, who I've always believed looks as if he travels to the ballpark straight from the set of his latest gay porn shoot: