We already know that when the Fonz returns, it will be as a leadoff man. This bodes badly for the Cubs offense, not because Soriano can't be productive in the leadoff spot, but because he's going to come out of the gate rusty. Actually, that's pretty much how he looked before he got hurt, so I guess that suck can't really be any worse than suck.

However, in an ideal world, Soriano would not be the leadoff man on this team. Ideally, Alfonso is best suited to bat in the 5th spot of the lineup. Now, a lot of people seem nervous that if Lou moves the Fonz down the lineup, it will affect his head and he will struggle accordingly.

Except he's already struggling. Maybe his struggles have nothing to do with where he bats or where he plays. Maybe it's just hard for him to succeed in the biting cold of Chicago in April.

Likewise, while he may be a headcase, while he may not be a team player, I don't get the same vibe from Alfonso that I used to see in Sammy Sosa. Alfonso doesn't strike me as a guy who'd wear a 10-pound golden and diamond encrusted 40-40 Club pendant while occupying the attention of the clubhouse with his dissertations on how much money he deserves to be making. Maybe the Fonz is not the guy you want to work a count in order to prepare a pitcher to be lambasted by Derrek Lee, but he's also not the guy who'd pack up his boom box and depart a game early. So I say screw it. Bump him down to the 5th spot.

If I'm writing the Cubs lineup today - well, next week when Sori is back - then this is what it's going to look like.

1. Ryan Theriot, SS. At this stage, Theriot is hot. He's getting on base. Therefore, it makes sense that he be the leadoff guy. However, the second his numbers start to return to earth - for example, if he has a two-week stretch in which he's batting .200 with a .250 OBP - then I bump him for DeRosa.

2. Kosuke Fukudome, RF. Rob, you are not alone in singing the praises of Fooky in the #2 hole. Although he hit an awesome three-run bomb in his first ever game as a Cub, it does appear evident that Fuku is not going to shock and awe people with his power. However, he does work the count like no other, he has speed, he hits doubles and triples, and he is absolutely the perfect #2 guy. So, Lou, get him there already!

3. Derrek Lee, 1B. His power stroke is back. He's become a force to reckon with again. Much as Fukudome is the ideal #2 hitter, Lee is ideal to bat third.

4. Aramis Ramirez, 3B. This one is just as obvious as Lee batting third. Aramis will only heat up with the summer, and he will knock in a ton of runs this year if Lou builds the lineup correctly.

5. Alfonso Soriano, LF. Here is where he probably belongs. Soriano would be perhaps the best #5 hitter in the league. He's a tremendous hitter who could provide great protection to Ramirez and Lee.

6. Geovany Soto, C. Soto is proving to be the Real Deal. I don't think he'll finish the year batting .300, or hitting 20 homers, but he is growing into one of the best offensive catchers in the league. He could - and perhaps should - bat even higher than 6th, and you never know, I could be wrong about him not hitting 20 homers this year.

7. Mark DeRosa, 2B. On certain days, I would trade him straight up for Theriot as the leadoff guy. However, imagine the Cubs having an offense in which their #7 hitter is a guy who might bat .290 with 12 to 15 homeruns, 30 to 40 doubles, and a good OBP? How sick would that be?

8. Felix Pie, CF. Pie is proving that he will not be an every day player in 2008, but it could very well be that, like a young Sandberg, he'll prove his worth later on in the season. However, when he does play a game, it should be as the #8 hitter, for now. However, I wouldn't be shocked if, in July or August, Pie is the leadoff man.

As for Reed Johnson, when he starts in Pie's place, I have no problem with him batting leadoff and Theriot batting 8th. I recognize that it's strange that Theriot either bats first or close to last, but until he proves that he can maintain an OBP of .350 or better over the course of a season, then I just can't expect our Cajun Sensation to hold the leadoff spot all year long.

If and when Pie is out of a game, Johnson is not a bad choice for leadoff. If and when Theriot is not performing well enough, DeRosa is not a bad choice for leadoff. If and when he can, Jim Hendry should still try to find somebody who's an ideal leadoff guy. If it happens, if Jimbo manages to swing a trade that improves the Cubs even more than they currently are, then I just might change my mind about the Cubs bringing him back as GM.