Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Look down, Chicago

The Cubs are still in last place in their division, but their fortunes may be reversing. Not that it's a hard thing to beat a Cardinals team with a pitching rotation whose talent is on par with an old-timer's league.

Consider these facts:

  • The Cubs are 10-13, tied with Houston and St. Louis. Immediately above them are the 11-13 Reds, the 11-11 Pirates (who they play next), and lastly, the first-place Brewers, who are commanding a respectable record of 14-9.
  • So far, the Cubs have scored 110 runs this season, while allowing 88. There are no teams in the NL Central who have scored more or allowed fewer - in fact, every other team has allowed more runs than they've scored.
  • Offensively speaking, the Cubs have yet to hit on all cylanders. Derrek Lee, Mark DeRosa, Aramis Ramirez, and Michael Barrett are all boasting an OPS above .800, with Lee topping the team with an OPS of 1.037 despite having hit only one homerun. The cause for Lee's gaudy numbers? 13 doubles so far, which is tops in the league and puts him on pace for ... damn ... for 92. I'm sure he'll slow down eventually.
  • Of the other offensive players, Alfonso Soriano has shown flashes of brilliance, Cliff Floyd has been steadily mediocre (what? what bias?) Super Jacque could be heating up, Felix Pie could go anywhere, Matt Murton will start performing at his typical level, and Ryan Theriot is batting .308 and already has 5 steals, although he needs to start hitting doubles.

And what about the pitching?

  • Rich Hill continues to succeed as Mitch Hill awaits his sentence after an arrest for shoplifting while cross-dressing. Go figure. Hill is rocking to a 3-1 record with a 1.57 ERA
  • Ted Lilly and Jason Marquis have yet to become the free agent pitchers from hell that we expected them to be. So far, they are 5-3 in 10 combined starts, with a combined ERA of 2.26.
  • Carlos Zambrano is showing flashes of his brilliant self after owning the Cardinals yesterday. He went 7 and gave up 0 walks - a very heartwarming sign.
  • Wade who? I don't know who you're talking about.
  • As for the bullpen, Dempster, Howry, Cotts, and Wuertz have been stellar. Did you know that Neal Cotts has an ERA of 0.00 after 8.2 innings of work? I sure as hell didn't! Michael Wuertz has a 0.71 ERA and 14 k's in 12.2 IP, Dempster has an ERA of 2.13, and Howry of 3.65. Ohman and Eyre remain black marks, pulling in ERAs of 4.70 and 12.86.
  • 12.86? Geeze! Scott Eyre's ERA is on the verge of hitting puberty! Get that ERA some softcore porn and zit cream!

All of this my way of saying that, so far, I really like this team, despite their inability to win the close ones. However, if the bullpen continues to do well - Eyre aside - then the close ones will come. We just have to give Lou a little bit of time to get to know his players and what they are capable of.

The Cubs go for a sweep today - in St. Louis; this is practically unheard of - and then they play the worst offense in the central, the Pirates. My gut tells me a number of things ... for starters, the Cubs probably won't get the sweep today, and they probably won't sweep Pittsburgh, either. However, they should take two of three from the Pirates, but we will feel new-found concern for the team's offense because they will inexplicably be low-scoring affairs. Also, I suspect that Alfonso Soriano is going to heat up, but not until the end of May. Until then, the Cubs will have to rely on their traditional bats, Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez.

But, hey, I could be wrong. I rarely make these little predictions, however, because for some reason I tend to be right more often than not. Regardless, the Cubs could and should sweep today, even if they may not. Go them!

A sadly appropriate picture

As Cards pitcher Josh Hancock just died in a car accident.

Game's postponed for obvious reasons.

Wow

That's a bummer. What a strange coincidence to have occurred while the Cards were playing the Cubs ... just like Kile five years earlier.

Deadbirds hate playing us

We've been just KILLING them lately...

Yes, that was in poor taste, even for me.

Little Johnny was in his

Little Johnny was in his nursery class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up- fireman, policeman,salesman... etc... Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he'll go out to the alley with some screamin' f** and take it up the ass."

The teacher ,obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little Johnny aside to ask him,"Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Johnny, "he plays for the Chicago Cubs, but I was too embarrassed to say so".

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