Not quite as ambitious as Kurt
Gotta give the man a gigantic load of credit for creativity with his backing up of the truck. He does take care to mention, however, that these kinds of things never happen in real life, at least in the Cubs world. If Kenny Williams were the GM of the Cubs, THEN maybe you got something. Then again, if that were the case, don't drive to the games - Kenny's kids might try to break in and steal your car radios.
Today's meager suggestion was inspired by Goatfriend Paul Sullivan who has his suggested second half batting order. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I understand how you all feel about Sam Fuld. I think he's a pleasant young man, a gentleman AND a scholar, and also the long lost kid brother of Doug Dascenzo. Teams don't win World Series playing Sam Fuld every day and batting him leadoff. In fact, with Reed Johnson around, I'm not sure we need Fuld. Or we don't need Johnson. Anyway, we don't need both.
I am going into the second half under the assumption that Jim Hendry's biggest move will be to bring in a reliever or two, with Johnson and/or Fuld and Fox and/or Hoffpauir as trade bait. So therefore my humble suggestion to kick-start the offense is to take the guy who is leading the team in OBP (amongst league qualifiers) and bat him first.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Cub Fans, with a .379 OBP, meet Don't Wake Daddy, your new leadoff man!
One other thing: Paul, with all respect, I thought the third spot was for your best hitter, not your most expensive. Alfonso Soriano has had the worst six weeks I have ever seen. He hits seventh until he proves to us that he remembers how to hit a home run again.
Enjoy the HGH fest today, kids. If all was fair and just in the world, they would be waiting at home plate tonight, for Pujols, with a syringe.