Lou wants an extra infielder...Jason wants a pony
Regardless of how much some of us here love lil' Fonty, Uncle Lou isn't sold on the idea of his being the backup third baseman. (Maybe because he's the starting second baseman). Lou isn't sold on Aaron Miles over there either.
In Lou's words, hell, I don't blame him.
So Lou wants a guy who presumably can "backup 1B and 3B". Translated, this means a power hitting someone who can play third, because since time immemorial, third basemen are expected to hit for power. Incidentally, this has never seemed truly fair to me. Sure, power hitting first basemen are great if you have them (See: Santo, Ron, and Ramirez, Aramis), and sucks when the other guys have them. (See Schmidt, Mike, and Roid, A.). But in my mind, the position is as hard to play as shortstop, or damn close, and we never seemed to mind when our shortstops don't break the double digits for homers, career. In the Steroid Era, certainly, even our shortstops hit homers, everyone hits homers, pitchers hit homers, bullpen catchers hit homers, beer vendors hit homers, even Frank Pellico came down from the organ loft and hit a dinger in 2004, I believe.
Soory, as Kurt's future in-laws might say, that was a digression.
Fact is, Lou wants another guy that can hit like Hoffpauir off the bench, yet can fill in at third about once a week. Too bad Hoffpauir himself can't do it. But he CAN'T do it. The other day, I wondered if Corey Koskie could do it. It seems to me like he would be ideal, if he were completely healthy. However, we must assume that perhaps Koskie is not all the way back, because Lou is publicly beseeching his boss for outside help in this regard. Presumably he's looking to trade for a Bill Hall-type figure - not that Milwaukee would send us Bill Hall, even if he were the last backup third baseman on Earth, but someone like that. Hey, is Russell Branyan still alive?
Anyway, our recent history indicates that if Lou wants something, Jim Hendry will get it, so be looking for that real soon. Personally, I back Lou up in this particular endavor. What's Eric Hinske doing with himself lately?
My point of business today is - how does this fit? I'm sure Lou wants to carry 12 pitchers - he has carried at least that many throughout his entire tenure here. I'm sure Lou wants a backup catcher for Soto. (minor laugh intended). The numbers start to dwindle. That's 13 position players, then 11 non-catchers, then 4 non-catching-non-starters. Miles is one. The Hall-esque figure discussed above is another. The third would be the CF-platoon-player-du-jour, either Johnson or Fukudome, depending on what arm the starting pitcher brushes his teeth with.
How about that fourth guy? When I was discussing Koskie the other day, I was wondering who should be worried about him, whether it was Joey Gathright, or the aforementioned Hoffpauir? It sounds like they shouldn't worry about Koskies, but they should worry about this new mystery meat Lou wants to bring in. And out of the two? If I'm the quick guy who can jump over cars, steal bases and chase down gappers, I'm not as worried. Lou loves guys like me, because I can play all the outfield positions, I can pinch run, and if I ever get caught in a rundown, I can just jump over fools.
The Old Skipper in the Sky knows I loves me some Micah, as only a big solid free-swinging lefty can love another. But the more I hear from Band Camp, the more it appears that he isn't going north with us. If we had the DH, or a 26th man, he's in, but Lou has convinced himself that the problems we've had all boil down to Not Enough Rest for the Regulars, and thus he needs versatile, multi-positionals on his bench. Since Hoffpauir's three best positions are DH, 1B and Post-Game Spread, he seems to be odd man out.
It doesn't make much sense for another team to accept him in a trade for this Theoretical Healthy Corey Koskie-esque figure, so I figure it will take a portion of our pitching depth (Heilman/Gaudin) to pry this asset loose.
UPDATE - Robothal seems to think that Micah can rest easy, that the Battle of the Bench has been fought and won, that every last word I wrote here is a big fat lie. Well, while I would be happy for my guy, it might not be the best thing for the team if Hendry stands pat with what we have.
To conclude, it also sounds like our best LOOGY in camp is...Kevin Gregg? Well, that's not gonna happen. Lou doesn't appear satisfied with Cotts or Stanton thus far (once again, who can blame him?) so perhaps our beloved Hoff is the price we will end up paying for a man who pitches to single solitary left-handed batters for a living, a man named after phlegmy spittle. Mom, look at the LOOGY I left on the sidewalk!!