Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Li'l Carlito and the Evil, Soul-Sucking, Man-Eating MRI Machine

Some possible reasons why Z didn't get his MRI as scheduled yesterday:

- Claustrophobia.  Afraid that his big ass would get stuck in the tube

- Fear that the intense magnetism would suck away his mojo

- Fear that the images would reveal that Z is a bionic cyborg constructed of pistons, rods, gears and the ass end of a 1954 Buick Roadmaster

- Time committment - a hour in the tube is an hour spent away from IM'ing his brother and swilling Red Bull

- Plus, an hour in the tube is an hour he doesn't get to spend fighting crime

It turns out the real reason is a bit less sinister.  What we laymen don't realize is that when an athlete undergoes an MRI, it isn't just a 'straight' MRI - rather - it's the one with the dye injection.  The injection causes the athlete to be 'disabled' for a number of days.  Most times, this isn't of much concern, since the vast majority of athletes who are driven to the point of an MRI, aren't coming back to perform anytime soon.  So it never gets mentioned.

I guess Z didn't want to commit to having to sit out the 7-10 days due to the injection.  But it appears that reason may win the day after all, because they're going to give him another chance today.  So, even if he is healthy as a horse, he is out for two weeks, minimum.

I don't know if it is even worth putting him on the DL at this point, but I am not planning on seeing his act before the last week of the season, if that.

UPDATE: he faced the big bad machine after all.  No mojo was sucked out.  He will miss perhaps only one start, after receiving an anti-inflammatory shot.


They don't have to put Zambrano on the DL because they are in the 40 player call up period.

Chicago Tribune's Chicago's Best Blogs award