Goatriders of the Apocalypse

I really shouldn't have to tell you that the next four days are huge

Since I HATE it when teams look past one game while thinking about another, let me declare that today's game is the first Must Win of the year.

Why?  I suppose we probably should declare degrees of Must Winness.  I suppose today isn't as important as, say, our winning the next to last game of the year while down a half game.  But it is quite vital to the 2008 Cubs to beat the Rays today.  If it were just US throwing out the "Cubs have not lost 3 straight so far in 2008" stat out there, then I wouldn't care much if we lost today.  After all, like our teams in the past losing themselves in Pits of Despair like the Astrodome and Stadium Olympique, the Trop is a dump pile of seagull dung, and if I were a Cub, I could not wait to get the hell out of it.

However, I have seen many players, DeRosa and Theriot amongst them, cite this same stat.  Like Crash Davis, I never, ever F with a streak, and if the Cubs think they are great because they haven't lost three in a row, then they should do everything in their power to NOT lose three in a row.  Which, based on their having lost their last two, requires them to win today.  Must Win, then.

That, and we want to be on a roll going into tomorrow so that we can bust out some teeth and shove them down some neurotic proto-ethnic meth-cookin' ShoutSide scumbag's throat.  I don't even care if the teeth match the throat.  When yer dealing in a shortage situation, you make do.

This being America, and my being a firm believer of the Bill of Rights, Kenny Williams has the right to say what he wants.  So does his psychotic bigot he has managing his club.  They can jibe, jab and belittle the Cubs in print all they want, for as we all know, being a so-called Sox fan isn't so much loving the team that wears black-n-white and plays their home games in a black-n-white food court near the Dan Ryan.  We all know that Directive One for all "Sox Fans" is To Hate The Cubs, and Their Fans.

We get it, even if they themselves don't.

So it is with great pleasure when I say that it is going to be the ultimate in luxurious bliss when we kick the living dogspunk out of them bastards this weekend.  I hope Kenny Williams goes home every night this weekend and yells at his wife, kicks his dog and goes out stealing CD players out of people's cars with his kids.  And I hope the overrated butthair gets busted with his flathead screwdriver in one hand and a fistful of wires in the other.  And I hope the Will County cops shove a soap-on-a-rope up his ass, too.

See, Stanford boy?  Bill of Rights knife cuts bofe wayz!

I view Kenny Williams the way I view other people's kids.

His screwup and incompetencies are amusing to me. Now, if it were MY kid general manager doing that, I'd be righteously upset. But I am unable to get indignant about anything he says or does. It's charming the way he does his job so poorly.

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