Guzman to go under the knife? Must be a day that ends in "day"
Angel Guzman, back in his prospect days
What's more appropriate -- calling him Frankenguz, or Guzmanstein? Should we change the term from surgery to guzery? Nah, that last one's too much. Regardless, by this point, the frail body of the former Cubs prospect Angel Guzman has to be riddled with more scars than a lazy serf's back.
The story out of Chicago has Guzman about to go under the knife, again, because his body has failed him, again, leaving the Cubs with their dicks in their hands, again, putting even more pressure on an untried-but-hopefully-true young Cubs pitching staff to shore up the bullpen.
We'll still be featuring Guzman in the Season Preview series, although he very well may have thrown his last pitch with the Cubs. After all -- how many times can he get hurt before Hendry realizes that his attraction is a fatal one? How often can Guzman disappoint the team before Jim comes to understand that, even though they are sharing an apartment together, it isn't appropriate for Hendry to change his look to more resemble a single, non-white Angel?
We get by now that Hendry has his obsessions, and he tends to stockpile them beyond belief, but Guzman should no longer be one of them. To rely on him beyond this point will just leave Cub fans in Guzony. ...Guzzorrow? Eh. I give up.
(Note to the moronic: we know that a. he hurt his shoulder, not his elbow, and b. his real life arm isn't loaded with stuffing and springs. ...then again, maybe it is. Clearly Guzman should've bought Sealy)