Your Sunday headlines
Oh, that silly media.
Paul Sullivan reports that various members of the national media have turned the Cubs into a punchline again. I know how I feel whenever I come across this kind of thing, and it's probably how you feel too - it's embarrassing, and because of that I tend to get pissed. But, hey, it's hard to blame them. Futility makes for an easy punchline, and causing some people pain is hardly a reason not to tell a joke.
The Caveman Journalist speculates that Manny Ramirez could join the Cubs. I'll summarize the article for you so you don't have to read it ... I am just a simple caveman journalist. Your world frightens and confuses me! Why, just the other day, a homeless man approached me with a tin cup. I thought, "Is this scruffy man planning on attacking me in order to claim my luxurious apartment for his own? And so I pummeled him until he was bleeding and unconscious on the pavement, and then I took his smelly woman for my own. But while I don't understand the nature of homelessness in society, what I do know is this: while he is old, expensive, and defensively worthless, Manny Ramirez could join the Cubs in 2009.
The Sun-Times is reporting that Hendry is close to an extension. The relevant text for this article: "Jim Hendry may be close to aw gawd, we're going broke, the newspaper industry is collapsing, what will we doooo?"
And lastly, the Tampa Bay Rays have learned what it's like to be the Chicago Cubs. After taking a 3-1 ALCS lead on the Red Sox, Tampa squandered a huge lead in Game 5, never really seemed in it in Game 6, and are now playing with their backs against the wall in Game 7. Man, nothing crushes a person's soul quite as badly as an Epic Playoff Loss (EPL for short). I wish them the best of luck.