Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Game Recap: Cubs 5, Mets 2 -- Thanks, Brian!

You know how I know Brian Stokes sucks? He gave up four runs and got just one out yesterday--AGAINST THE CUBS!! Sheesh. Fortunately, Stokes decided to be really bad at baseball on a day when the Cubs' ace was on the mound, and SOMEHOW this team snagged another win.

(Also Brian Stokes probably listens to Coldplay.)

At the very least, Stokes made teammate Pat Misch look stellar. Misch went seven innings as the starter, allowing just one run on six hits. (THAT'S the Cubs team we all know and hate!) Even though it happens all the damn time, it's still somewhat baffling to see how often total no-name pieces of crap shut down this team's offense.

On the other side of the ball, the Cubs got a good performance out of their starter, as Ted Lilly pitched 7.1 solid innings of his own. Since the offense was generally inept (surprise!) aside from Brian Stokes' incredibly sucktastic performance, Lilly deserves a lot of credit for keeping the game close for a long time yesterday.

If anybody on offense deserves any credit for yesterday's win, it's gotta be Milton "Everyone's Favorite Cub" Bradley. Bradley had a double in each of the innings in which the Cubs scored, went 3-for-3 on the day, and also walked. This guy is trying as hard as he can to get his average all the way up to... .270. Guh.

Only three other Cubs had hits of any kind yesterday: D-Lee, A-Ram, and Soriano (The Fonz was 3-for-3, and hit the game-winning home run in the 8th). That means four other Cub starting position players posted oh-fers: Theriot, Soto, Baker, and Fuld. Man, Geo Soto has had a rough year, huh?

If you're in favor of the idea of picking one Cub to root for while the rest of the team goes down in flames, you could do a lot worse than Ted Lilly. His starts are a refreshing break from what's usually a totally mystifying level of incompetence demonstrated by this team.

Go Ted Lilly!

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