Goatriders of the Apocalypse

We read the Shout Box

NEXTyearNOW points out that since I wrote yesterday's post, the Yankees have started talking about trading for Zambrano, and Kid K is negotiating to come back to our bullpen.

So, yes, I will come right out now and say that we DON'T need no stinking Matt Garza.  He has never won 20 in the bigs, and he has pitched most of his games in a dingy wart dome.  He would never be able to adjust to the changing weather conditions in Wrigley.  I don't feel he would be a good fit for us.

I also see big things ahead for the Fooker this year.  The fourth big league season is usually when Japanese players finally acclimate to the speed of the game.  I no longer advocate trading him for a sack of manure.  This is the year he learns to lay off the low pitches and forces hurlers to pitch to HIS strengths.

Also, let me add that since we have Carlos Pena in the fold, we certainly have no room on our club for Albert Pujols.  It would just be too damn weird to see him wearing pinstripes, anyhow.  We can't afford him, anyhow.

Joey Votto has been extremely dismissive of the Cubs in recent years, and in fact, he's just a whiny little bitch,  We sure don't need him, either.  Nor do we need some quiet, shy, wallflower type like Andre Ethier.  Certainly Soriano and Colvin have more experience manning the corner outfield spots at Wrigley. 

Let me conclude this morning by asserting my support for Jim Hendry and Crane Kenney as Executives For Life.  Both men have stood up admirably during tumultuous times at Clark and Addison, and if the Ricketts family knew what was best, they would call both of them in today and extend their contracts into perpetuity.

This is great stuff. This is

This is great stuff. This is the witty sarcasm that made GROTA the best Cubs Blog online. Im glad you have gotten some time off Rob to post regularly, keep it up. Maybe now we will trade FUKU next.

Chicago Tribune's Chicago's Best Blogs award