Goatriders of the Apocalypse

If Fukudome is underrated, then what is Ryan Theriot?

Apparently the guys who frequent Desipio -- and Desipio spin-off Hire Jim Essian -- are not particularly fond of being mentioned in other places.  A couple of days ago I did just that in this article, where I highlighted the debate on the value of Kosuke Fukudome which had been started on the Desipio forums.  

A loyal Goat Reader who wishes to remain anonymous EMailed me the following discussion:

Bort  "Pretty awesome of Kurt to take his bitchfest to GROTA."
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater  "Kurt is such a douche."
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater  "He seriously cried wee wee wee all the way home to his queercastke* of wrong at GROTA."

(*I think he meant "queercastle")

ChuckDickens  "F**king Kurt posts a rebuttal at GROTA?"
ChuckDickens  "Is that a canard to get me to read his site or something?"
SKO  "and then he name drops you and Pre like anyone there would know who the f**k that was"
T to E to C  "he posted the rebuttal at GROTA because he figured no one would read it if it was over there"

I'm not sure if T to E to C meant to say that GROTA has no readers, or I was expecting nobody from Desipio to notice.   Either way I posted the "rebuttal" because it's an interesting debate topic about the Cubs** in which a pack of idiots -- that would apparently include you, T to E to C -- took a ridiculous stance apparently for the simple reason that I took the opposite one.  The response to my post, ironically a major bitch fest by several individuals, is pretty damned funny.

(**GROTA, being predominately a content-hungry website that covers the Cubs seems like the ideal place to debate the merits of a player like Fukudome, incidentally)

RV  "Kurt just wanted to make sure there was absolutely zero doubt that he's an insufferable pudleak."
SKO  "i used to feel sorry for Kurt. i thought he was an awkward but well meaning guy that everyone mercilessly attacked."
SKO  "i see now that he's just a completely oblivious twit"
Mr. Tank  "There's nothing more interesting for the readers of you blog than a recap of an internet discussion you've had somewhere else"
T to E to C  "I used to read GROTA regularly like three years ago. Now I wonder what the hell was wrong with me back then."

Thanks for all the love, guys.  Again, stay classy with the sniveling hatefest directed toward me.  All I did was highlight a ridiculous stance ChuckD had on the value of Kosuke Fukudome on this, a Cubs blog.  All you did was rattle off insults highlighting what tremendous folks you are.  And while I'm sure that some Goat Readers have never heard of any of you, the Cubs blogging community isn't so big.  Surely some people here know "who the f**k that was" and have their own bad experiences with your crowd. 

Anyway, I bring the topic up again for two reasons -- first because it obviously annoyed the holy hell out of them, and second because the fallacy of their Fuku-love is hypocritically contrasted by their lukewarm feelings toward Ryan Theriot, the topic of this article.

Theriot, you may have heard, is an average-at-best shortstop with no base running skills and a terrible defensive ability.  

For example -- we learned last week that Fukudome's season, as determined by wRC, puts him in elite company (ignoring the 70-or-so players who have better wRC than him this season).  Theriot at this moment has a very similar wRC to Fukudome -- 65.3 to Kosuke's 67.7.  Since we've already established that some people mistakenly feel that Fooky's wRC is something special, then I'm sure these same jabrones have a similar appreciation for the year Theriot is having.  Except, they might argue, Theriot's defensive value detracts from his contributions compared with the stellar-gloved Fukudome.

But Fangraphs tells us something interesting -- according to the UZR stat, Theriot is a Top 10 defensive shortstop in all of baseball with an UZR/150 of 3.2.  For comparisson's sake, Fukudome is 11th amongst all center fielders, with an UZR/150 of -5.2***.  In the NL alone, Theriot is 5th best defensively, while Kosuke is 7th best.  

(***-5.2?!?  So much for being near Gold-Glove caliber)

Mix that in with Fangraphs' estimated value of Theriot compared with Fukudome -- $11.4 to $13.4, (with a WAR of 2.5 to 3.0).  In other words, while Fukudome has been slightly more valuable to the Cubs than Theriot (until you consider that Kosuke is making perhaps 24 times as much money, if not more), where's the Cajun Love from the Desipio crowd?

After my Fukudome article, AJ posted one regarding his opinion that the Cubs' CF is the MVP of the team.  I won't contest that, first because part of Fukudome's value is the fact that he's not easily replaced, and second because on this under-performing team it makes perfect sense that such an average player would be one of the best in the lineup.  But if we're going to make our judgment on the Cubs players based purely on an analytical, statistical outlook, then Theriot should not be overlooked.  Like a lot of people out there I would support his move to second base, but he's apparently been a pretty decent shortstop this year despite what biased public sentiment might be.  

As for the Desipio guys, I like many of them and respect their opinions.  It's a little unfortunate that some of them have to be so hostile toward people they dislike -- and they certainly present themselves in an extremely unpleasant manner the majority of the time -- but hey, they're the funniest guys on the internet.  Just ask them.

Anyway, I've never said GROTA is the best Cubs blog on the net -- I can easily think of a bunch that are funnier, and more analytical, and more compelling.  And if you'd like to see for yourself some of the personal blogs of the guys who think I am an "insufferable pudleak" living in my "queercastke of wrong at GROTA" then feel free to follow these links:

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater -- Wrigleyville23, named apparently after his love of the Chicago neighborhood with the highest quantity of puke per square mile and his love of Ryne Sandberg.  DKN only contributes sparringly to this blog.
Slaky - Slak's Index, a blog that is apparently about Slaky's music tastes, because that's what the internet needed -- another music blog by some guy nobody cares about
Eli - Eli Gieryna, the internet's least-prolific blogger, which sort of resembles a bot-created phish site
SKO - Start Kyle Orton ... considering that SKO hasn't apparently invested any money in his blog, it's probably not too late to create a Jay Cutler worship site for which he can migrate his compelling rhetoric, kind of like how HJE used to be FLP.
ChuckDickens - Pseubermetrics, which I have absolutely nothing bad to say about.  It's a clever and well-done site.

Bort/Jon, who apparently whined a lot because I didn't include a link to his blogs, runs Hitler Getting Punched, contributes on Thunder Matt's Saloon, and also The Slog.  Since I like the first two and know nothing of the latter I won't bother to come up with any pointless insults.  Sorry for hurting your feelings by leaving you out, Jon. ***END UPDATE***

I'm sure you that you'll enjoy some of those, although I also have a feeling that the guys who own them would rather lose a testicle than take on GROTA readers, who they surely feel are inferior to themselves. 

You hit the nail on the head

I used to frequent Desipio a while back... I think it's pretty retarded the way they like to gang up on people. I don't get why you'd waste your time engaging and encouraging them. They're mostly just a big bunch of assholes with the least earned superiority complex I've ever seen. So I say f**k them, and f**k their disgusting behavior! Do yourself a favor and delete them from your favorites!

Thanks for the comment, OCF,

Thanks for the comment, OCF, but we try not to drop the f-bomb at GROTA.

Like I said, I like many of the guys who post at Desipio. There are just a handful who are extremely unpleasant people. I pity the good ones who have chosen to be friends with those douchebags, but that's just the way it is.

Anyway, I'm sure they'll have some more wonderful things to say about me and GROTA today, but I seriously doubt I will be posting about it on this blog. There's baseball going on, after all, and the sale of the team, and that's way, way more interesting than them.

100% right

Sorry about the swearing thing but some of the things they said that you posted seem a lot worse than the eff word. The "queercastle" thing sounds pretty homophobic to me... I wonder if MVN knows they host the blog of somebody who says hateful stuff like that.

I do think you're right, though... it's hilarious to see them act like they are off their meds, but baseball talk is way more interesting.


doesn't run WV23. He's a contributor and an infrequent one at that.. Leave my cajun lover out of this, good sir.

My mistake. I'll toss in a

My mistake. I'll toss in a retraction.


are you so angry Kurt? You mentioned that you had thick skin recently. Doesn't seem so thick right now.

Angry about what? I'm sure

Angry about what? I'm sure you'll agree with me that your friends are well within their rights to say practically whatever they want about anybody they want.


Yes, they are jerks. Yes, the pile on people. Yes, they can say whatever they want, as you can too. It just seems kind of petty to bring it here. I really don't have that much of an issue with you are if you want to be an insufferable douche, feel free to be. Far be it for me to stop you. I just think this is kind of stupid. So, yea desipio is filled with asses, and you're a part a desipio.. Not sayin' Just sayin'

Seriously, Kurt?

Do you know how douchey this makes you and your queercastle (I DID mean queercastle) of wrong look? You go to other sites, mainly desipio and HJE, are completely wrong about close to everything you type, then get your panties bunched and lamely retort ad nauseum to every single barb at your expense.

This is really, really sad. I don't care that you put my namesake or my shouts on your blogsite machine page. I can own it, unlike yourself.

Ah, but...

Kurt already knew that.

Ho Ho! Jolly Good!

Fabulous rip on me for using the ole' blogger instead of sucking it up and buying a web domain. I'll be smarting for weeks! Hell, my words mean nothing, I didn't PAY for them. By God Kurt, you're ability to remain undented and refuse to lower yourself to the attacks of others astounds me. Certainly shows an incredible strength of character to drag an argument you couldn't win against a stathead like Eli or ChuckDickens onto GROTA, where your readers will heap approval onto your argument without seeing the other side! Can you even sweat with skin so thick? I'd assume the water would evaporate before it can squeeze out of your pores.


Damn man, for having such thick skin you sure did go off over one little comment about your shitty blog. I'm sure it came out of nowhere too... I'm sure you have never said anything to Kurt so his comment about your blog was just a big ol' ambush? Your whole crowd is lame and youre all attack attack attack but you can't take it if anybody attacks you back. God I hoep this doesnt' end anytime soon.

This is Kinda Sad

I'm sorry to see that you take everything so personally, Kurt. Perhaps it hasn't occured to you that by reacting to every insult hurled your way, you only encourage more insults. You had little to gain by hashing this out here--I'm sure your loyal readers couldn't care less about the posters at Desipio--but you you just couldn't resist dragging this out, could you?

Your blog, your prerogative, I guess. I'm just embarassed for you that this has actually come to this.

Dear Mike: I'm not really

Dear Mike:

I'm not really sure that I reacted to every insult hurled my way by merely posting them here, although I appreciate your advice that I shouldn't take those insults hurled my way personally. Mostly I posted about the Desipio debate on Fukudome because I thought it was interesting and this is a Cubs blog. But I have to admit I posted the response that the Fukudome article elicited because I thought it was hilariously over-the-top.

If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that your online friends are douchebags. But maybe they should be comfortable in their douchebaggery and, rather than get upset when their words get repeated elsewhere, they should just proudly stand behind them. But if their response to being called out on their doucheness is to just act even more douchie ... well, I guess they sort of proved my point. If I were you, I'd probably be more embarassed that those folks were my friends.

I'm Pretty Sure

That we're all quite comfortable in our douchebaggery, and none of us have denied saying any of things you accuse of saying. I'll stand behind it. Hell, I'll show off what a flaming visage of douche I am by reiterating that you're a twit, right here. Prepare yourself-

SKO (writes the cheap, Jay Cutler fellating blog Start Kyle Orton and doesn't pay for it, also posted on the rough and tumble Desipio boards that Kurt is a twit): Kurt, sir, I do declare that you are a twit.


Oh I knew they were douchebags all along. How else do you think I got along with them so well?

I also wasn't aware that I had any online "friends" until now. Neato! Now I'm looking forward to my next online playdate.


I'm deeply honored to be your douchebag internet friend. I'll be there any time you want to play World of Warcraft. My screenname is Dungeon Master 7.



Yes, you do.

Yes, you do.

And welcome to GROTA, SKO, IAN, etc.

Typically we prefer the contributors to be on their meds while here, but you are more than welcome to continue your active demonstration of what unpleasant people you are nevertheless. Thanks for being readers.

The Kind of Unpleasant Person

Who would call someone a cock gobbling homo?

Who was that...

Oh, that was you.

AGHAST! Will that diminish your internet fans' opinions of you? Better yet, will you care?

McStiff eats ass.

McStiff eats ass.

This whole thing is awesome

If I know anything about the Desip crowd its that they love to bust balls on people who say stupid things. So Kurt is busting their balls for the stupid things they've said and their response is to attack GROTA and to say that KURT cant take THEIR abuse? And how dare HE talk about them HERE when all they do is talk shit about people like him and Yellon on Desip? LOL!! F**kin hypocrits, man. Kurt you gotta lay into those assholes some more this is too good.

That's really not necessary

That's really not necessary ChicoWalker. This blog isn't supposed to be about us v. them, whether them be "Desip" or anybody. I only ever posted the first thing to begin with because I thought it was a good debate, and when somebody EMailed me their little freak out I realized how funny it would be to post that too. Their response has been exactly what I expected it to be.

Like I said earlier, I'm sure that they have been ranting and raving about this all day -- thick skinned they are clearly not -- but I have no reason to poke them some more with another post tomorrow whether somebody copies and EMails it or not. It's fun to expose the pettiness -- it sure beats banning them the way Yellon would feel compelled to do -- but this is a baseball blog, not a Hate On The World Because We Mask Our Inferiority Complexes by Acting Superior site like some places out there.

Incidentally, I'm sure they know it hasn't gone unnoticed that, in "taking the debate" to GROTA because I can't compete with the stat geniuses like ChuckDickens on Desipio*, they've been too busy having their breakdowns to actually address any of the points made in the previous two posts.

(*Rather than bringing it here because most of the reading audience -- as they were quick to point out -- are not Desipio readers and would have missed the debate)

Are they hypocrites? Maybe. I honestly don't spend a lot of time thinking about Desipio when I'm not over there. I just think they have different expectations of the rest of the world compared with the expectations they have of themselves.

You are more than likely the

You are more than likely the biggest loser I've ever come across in my entire life. And I've been alive for almost 30 years!!!!

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