Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Amongst all the Soriano angst, let us not overlook who is really killing us right now

Sure was nice of Smiley Caridad to have that stiff forearm.  That's 1 bullpen change, 9 to go.

Anyway, on my browser home page, I have sections for ESPN, Yahoo!  Big League Stew, AOL Fanhouse, The Tribune, Sun-Times and Daily Herald.  Every last one of them has something about the current Worst Contract in the Bigs, Employee #12, Alfonso Soriano.  And, right they are, his inability to run, field his position, or have much impact at the plate anymore seem to be part of a permanent trend.  Chances are, he isn't going to get much better, ever.

It reminds me a lot of the 2004 Nomar we brought in.  Man, Boston sure knew when to trade THAT prick, didn't they?  It was like buying something off of eBay, having it brought in, and watching it literally disintegrate before our eyes.

Now, I remember that Soriano carried us the last month of 2007, and was productive in the parts of 2008 when his legs were healthy.  I'm talking about the here and now, and what I am seeing, the stiffness, the hesitancy, reminds me of the Nomar Cubs Era.  And, obviously, backwards Ramon never ever got healthy again, and I suspect neither will Sori.  The other difference was, backwards Ramon was in the last year of his contract.  We still owe Sori 90 million buckos.

Therefore, the Fonz is a topical notion; what excuse will the Cubs use for their next five years of failure?  Oh, probably that they are paying a guy $18 million a year for next to nothing.  We like to cover our own butts.

However, at least at the time of this posting, Soriano is hitting above .200.  In fact, his batting average is over 100 points higher than our clean-up hitter.

Our fourth hitter has 12 strikeouts already - far more than Soriano's 8, albeit in more at-bats.  In fact, our clean-up hitter has more at bats than everyone else on the team except The Riot, who took his turn as the team punching bag last week.  But smart people figured Theriot would start hitting, and he has, and I also suppose that Aramis Ramirez is not going to hit a buck-twenty-five all year.

Lord, at least, I hope he doesn't.  In fact, I am very confident that he will not.  But, for the present moment, Aramis Ramirez is just....killing...us!!  Far worse than Soriano, in fact.  I wouldn't think that a dislocated shoulder should throw a man's swing off permanently, but then again, I can't think of too many precedents of players dislocating their shoulder THAT badly.

I'm just saying, let's hope that Ramirez is just having a slump, and that he will pull out of it soon.  Otherwise, folks, there will be very little cheering again this year.

Well

Who's excited about the Font of little Blessings and Baker instead of Ramirez

(cough, cough)

But I think he'll be okay. it's 8 games.

And Soriano is what happens when bad steroids happen to good ballplayers. Breakdowns.

Oh dont get me wrong

Ramirez is the third baseman, and you have to play him. For now. I just wish he'd wake up, because he sucks right now.

I hope it is not a harbinger for the entire year

A little too early for this

A little too early for this conversation....but while we're here...

Let's not forget that while Soriano's average is much better than A-Ram so far...Ramirez is getting on-base more and slugging at a slightly higher clip than Soriano. He has also produced more, hitting 3 HR's and knocking six, compared with Soriano's 1 dinger and whopping 1 rbi. Soriano is also completely inept in the field.

I don't even know why I'm adding this part, as sample sizes are RIDICULOUSLY small for this type of comparison, but with runners in scoring position Ramirez is hitting .125 while Soriano is hitting .000.

So sure, they both have sucked so far this season...but I think it's a little unfair given this information to say that Ramirez is the larger problem.

a LOT too early for this

These early season PANIC articles always make for compelling content, whether we or the rags publish them, but they don't make much sense. By now we know that Hall of Famers can regularly start their seasons in May (Ryne Sandberg says hello), that All Star Offensive Monsters can begin their seasons after April as well (pick about any year from D.Lee), and that Total Duds can have great Aprils and exit the season looking like crap (Soriano, last year).

April's never, ever the time to panic. Trust me, I know this. The time to panic is approximately May 15th. If your season looks like shit as of that date, then it probably *IS* shit.

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