Before I starting writing for GROTA, I was nothing more than a pathetic college sports columnist (actually I still am...crap) but I feel like I have lost my roots recently. So in an attempt to get back to doing what I'm most comfortable with (sleeping, consuming adult beverages, and writing about sports), I'm going to try and reconnect with my columnist-self. Starting...right...now.

After watching Ted Lilly's massive implosion on live TV today (yes, WGN did get to broadcast that part), it's becoming more and more apparent what is the Cubs most glaring issue this season: a second ace starting pitcher.

Forget Bob "How do I suck so much" Howry or Alfonso "Automatic Out" Soriano, the Cubs need another starting pitcher.

I'm going to cut Ted a little slack here. I know it's the start of the season and there are going to be a few bumps in the road here or there. Fine. I can live with that. Still, I am now throughly convinced that Lilly is, at best, a solid third starter. As for the three-headed monster of Hill, Dempster and Marquis, they are all decent No. 5 guys who will pitch good some days and pitch mind-numbingly bad on others. The only solid constant is Carlos Zambrano (I use "solid" and "constant" loosely here), but who knows what kind of impact a few sub-par starts could have on his fragile caffeine-coated six-year-old mind.

A lot of people will agree that the Cubs' biggest off-season mistake was not trading for Brian Roberts, but it really should be Hendry's lack of ability to land someone else's ace. Say a Johan Santana or Erik Bedard kinda guy?

At this time you may or may not be saying to yourself,  "But Kyle, hindsight is 20/20. Plus Lilly or Hill still have a chance to emerge as a true baller-ass flamethrower. You're an idiot!"

Two of those three things may be true, but I'm not talking about speculation or "What if" scenarios. I'm talking about the need for confidence here. Right now, there are two times I feel confident watching the Cubs play: 1.) When Zambrano is pitching and 2.) When the other starters are out and the Cubs have a lead with the bullpen taking over (except for Howry, which we covered already). How much better would we feel if the Cubs had two reliable starters that could go the distance. How much more simple would our lives be with two guys we knew we could count on 100% come playoff time? This is the world I hope to live in someday.

Now this isn't to say Hendry didn't try. I'm sure he threw a reasonable amount of trade-bait at the Orioles for Bedard and I know Santana said he didn't want to play for any teams not on the East Coast but money talks pretty loud.

The calls for Brian Roberts are going to continue, and rightfully so, but the more this lineup settles the less the Cubs are going to need him. If Hendry is worth anything, he'll know where to look to upgrade this team come the trading deadline. 

So come on San Diego, you don't need Jake Peavy anymore. Look, we have Ronnie Cedeno. He's a nice...baseball guy... who can shag balls for you during batting practice. 

Between you and me, I don't think that's going to work.