Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Jason's blog

Yep, Howry's making the playoff roster

"Buwaaaahahahaha...the ultimate power, it is mine!"  Howry, stepped back from the table, admiring his handiwork.  The tiny worm looked back up at him blank faced.  Had it known what its next home would be, it surely would have found a way to express concern.

"Yes master, but I wish you would reconsider," lisped Igor as he hobbled across the laboratory.  "We could control the president of the United States.  We could use it to rob a bank.  We could truly wield ultimate power."

Howry shook his head, looking down at his hunchbacked little friend with just a tinge of pity.  "I thought I'd made this clear, Igor: I just want to pitch.  It's simple; I just slip this little worm in Lou's ear and I'm control his every thought.  No biggie."

"AND SO WE WILL HAVE HIM MAKE YOU CLOSER!  YOU WILL BE A GOD!" Igor cried, thrusting his arms to the sky.  "A GOD!"

"But I just want to pitch."

"No, you can be the CLOOOOSEEEERRR!"

"No, I just want to pitch.  I just don't want to be released.  Hell, my fastball isn't what it used to be and my slider is garbage.  I just want to pitch.  Leave the godding to God."

Igor grudgingly slumped away, muttering under his breath:

"...my last master was, like, a 100 times better."

Chicago Tribune's Chicago's Best Blogs award