The 2007 Cubs : Scott Eyre
Two things I know about Scott Eyre without even bothering to look him up on Baseball Reference :
1. He's lazy
2. He takes amphetamines
Now, I'm not entirely sure how those two things are even compatible, but somehow he manages it, and I'll talk about that more a little later.
In the meantime, though, let's have a look at Scott Eyre the pitcher. Drafted by Texas at the age of 19, he spent a full six years bumming around in the minors, and being traded to the Wh*te S*x (man, is there anybody on this Cubs' team that hasn't previously been on the S*x? I'm beginning to smell a conspiracy). Upon making it to the Majors in '97, he promptly sucked (ERAs from 5 to 7.5!) for a further four years - first as a starter, and then a reliever. Now, there have been many players who had such a start to their careers and are now working in your local Wal-Mart. But not Scott Eyre.
No sir, your man suddenly figured it all out. It was in the nick of time - I can't imagine he'd have been given too many more chances - but he was traded to Toronto after the 2000 season (for Gary Glover, of all people - why did they bother?) and for seventeen games, he pitched like his life depended on it and returned an ERA of 3.45.
Toronto brought him back for another year but, to their undoubted regret, put him through waivers in August 2002 and lost him to San Francisco. And he never looked back. In the City by the Bay, Eyre had ERAs of 1.59, 3.32, 4.10 and 2.63. What on Earth happened, who knows, but let's just say it probably had more to do with pills than push-ups...
Of course, we all know what happened next. Fat Saint Jim came along and gave Scotty an awful lot of money to pitch for the Cubbies for the next three years. Now I'll admit, when I saw the contract, I wasn't impressed. Middle relief really does grow on trees, and I thought that Hendry could probably have filled the slot for less. Nevertheless, a 3.38 ERA in 61.3 innings of left-handed relief later, Eyre is beginning to look like something of a bargain. Don't ever say I don't give you credit, Jimbo.
What I will always remember about Scott Eyre, though, are the two stories that came out shortly after his signing on the North Side...
He signed with the Cubs because he'd heard that Larry didn't make his pitchers run laps. I wish I could find a source for this story, but you'll just have to believe me. He took the Cubs' offer in preference to the multi-year he'd reportedly been offered to stay in California because it meant that he wouldn't have to run around.
Bravo, sir. A man after my own heart. In fact, Scott's not worried that the Cubs' management has changed in the offseason because they've apparently already told him that all he'll have to do is stand still... while the rest of the pitching staff run laps round him...
Now, the other thing you may have heard about Eyre is that he suffers from ADD (or ADHD as it is also known) - the treatment for which is, essentially, amphetamines. Yep, and Scotty Boy routinely fails drug tests, of course - but it's okay because he can cram as many greenies down his neck as he likes and never have to worry about losing his job. He's got a doctor's note, you see.
Now, I'm not suggesting that Eyre doesn't have ADHD, and neither am I making light of a potentially serious condition. People sometimes do some very bad things because they're sufferers, and I don't want you to think that I don't understand that. However, Eyre's dramatic improvement in performance came in Toronto, where he was first diagnosed. Now which is cause, and which effect? Before you answer that question, you should read this article, paying particular attention to the paragraph which begins "Admittedly, adult ADHD has become a popular diagnosis in the last five years."
Frankly, now that baseball has banned greenies, I'm surprised that there's a single player who hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD... Ah, what do I care? As long as Scott Eyre continues doing what he's doing, he could feast on the carcasses of vute puppies before games and I wouldn't give a flying frick. Bloody good luck to him, I say.
So, all in all, 60G, 60IP, ERA 3.00, WHIP 1.2, and that, as they say, will do nicely.
And yes, those are turkey legs you can see in his eyes...
Archie
I suffer from ADHD as well and let me tell you it's not...
How often do you think that light will go off and on in that office over there anyway?
...sorry, where was I?
Karl
I've heard ballplayers with ADD speak of ADD on radio shows and THEY JOKE ABOUT IT!
So before someone rants anout the wisecracks, take that into account.
Also, Gammons says that no less than 10-15 players per club are diagnosed and have doctor's notes.
The best crack I heard (and from a ballplayer):
Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Wanna play football?
kurt
That's hilarious, Karl. Nice joke.
Greg from Urbana
If you intend to bring to light possible misconduct concerning the use of Ritalin and other ADD drugs in baseball, fine. It does seem to be a problem.
But to say that Eyre is doing something wrong at this point is, at best, premature. ADD is real. The fact that it has many symptoms does not change that fact. One of the symptoms is the inability to concentrate -- something that is an absolute requirement for a major league pitcher.
Also, in most ADD patients, the drugs that are prescribed actually act as downers, not uppers as they would to a person without ADD.
The question is not who is using Ritalin in the major leagues. The question is who is ABUSING Ritalin, and therefore gaining a competitive edge.
Do you have anything that suggests that Eyre is faking his ADD? You said it yourself -- his performance improved after he was diagnosed. Why couldn't that be because ADD was harming his pitching and the drugs worked to correct the condition? You say you are not suggesting that Scott doesn't have ADD, but the tone of your post strongly suggests that is exactly what you are implying.
Greg from Urbana
If you intend to bring to light possible misconduct concerning the use of Ritalin and other ADD drugs in baseball, fine. It does seem to be a problem.
But to say that Eyre is doing something wrong at this point is, at best, premature. ADD is real. The fact that it has many symptoms does not change that fact. One of the symptoms is the inability to concentrate -- something that is an absolute requirement for a major league pitcher.
Also, in most ADD patients, the drugs that are prescribed actually act as downers, not uppers as they would to a person without ADD.
The question is not who is using Ritalin in the major leagues. The question is who is ABUSING Ritalin, and therefore gaining a competitive edge.
Do you have anything that suggests that Eyre is faking his ADD? You said it yourself -- his performance improved after he was diagnosed. Why couldn't that be because ADD was harming his pitching and the drugs worked to correct the condition? You say you are not suggesting that Scott doesn't have ADD, but the tone of your post strongly suggests that is exactly what you are implying.
Greg from Urbana
If you intend to bring to light possible misconduct concerning the use of Ritalin and other ADD drugs in baseball, fine. It does seem to be a problem.
But to say that Eyre is doing something wrong at this point is, at best, premature. ADD is real. The fact that it has many symptoms does not change that fact. One of the symptoms is the inability to concentrate -- something that is an absolute requirement for a major league pitcher.
Also, in most ADD patients, the drugs that are prescribed actually act as downers, not uppers as they would to a person without ADD.
The question is not who is using Ritalin in the major leagues. The question is who is ABUSING Ritalin, and therefore gaining a competitive edge.
Do you have anything that suggests that Eyre is faking his ADD? You said it yourself -- his performance improved after he was diagnosed. Why couldn't that be because ADD was harming his pitching and the drugs worked to correct the condition? You say you are not suggesting that Scott doesn't have ADD, but the tone of your post strongly suggests that is exactly what you are implying.
Greg from Urbana
Sorry about the triple post. I got an internal server error message the first two times.
kurt
General rule of thumb: if you get an error, right click and go "back." Your post will still be in the comments box. Hit "refresh." Scroll up, and if your comment hasn't been posted, just hit "post" again.
Anyway, from my understanding, for people with authentic ADHD, Ridalin serves as a downer. If somebody without ADHD were to take it, it would act as an upper. So, if you are a player who feels that he needs amphetamines, getting a prescription for ADHD seems like the smart move to make.
Regardless of that, nobody is actually saying in seriousness that Eyre is abusing the drug. But I'm sure there are guys out there who are.
Leviathan
He's been taking these for a really long time, and he still seems just to be a fastball/slider pitcher without dominating stuff. His endurance has put him as a middle reliever...
Let's say he is enhancing his performance and it really just is all a scam. He's not performing his butt off. He's a very solid reliever, but nothing to write home about. The thing is that he seems to be able to hit his spots very well, which is the mark of an intelligent pitcher, not a juiced pitcher.