First off, thanks go out to Kurt for scoring the passes for the Cubs Convention. At least I assume it was Kurt. It was nice finally meeting you and yours on Friday, and it was nice meeting Byron on Saturday, when I arrived too late to ask my question (more on that in a sec).

Jason, Leah--looking good. And Bob? WTF? Not even around for the debauchery at Kitty O'Sheas? Just kidding, I know you weren't feeling well. Being the oldest Cub fan, kinda makes sense. You must have all kinds of illness, having watched them longer than all of us. Besides, the barstool next to me is always available for you whenever you want, big fella.

So what'd we learn? Soriano's looking like center field, Angry Jock's here to stay, and the redhead's being tucked in the LF corner full-time. The manager seems slightly more evolved in his thinking than the guy he replaced, although the GM seems to think it's all about a battle of wills rather than an openness to being enlightened, so James Hendry just dug his heels in and said such inane things like:

Still, more importantly, you have to knock people in, knock the runs in the right way with two outs in the seventh, eighth and ninth inning. You can fluctuate the numbers a lot of different ways to create your own argument.

I'd really like to see someone knock in runs the wrong way. What the heck?

Anyway, my big goal all weekend was for the Q & A on Saturday morning. I'm not an autograph seeker--never have been. And the only thing I bought all weekend (besides an orange Bears winter hat for $10 that was going for $20 outside Soldier Field on Sunday. Score!), was a Paul Noce Fleer card. It cost $.50 but I just had to buy it. I could not believe that there was actually a baseball card for the guy who spent the Summer of '87 depressing the hell out of me while subbing for an atypically injured Ryne Sandberg. Anyway, I wanted the Q & A, like I mentioned, but the aforementioned debauchery, combined with the way too common CTA slowdowns sort of sabotaged my plans.

When I finally arrived, I spotted Kurt and Jason in line, and I'm proud to declare that they both asked outstanding questions.

Also, to his credit, Al Yellon asked a firm but fair question. He wanted to know about the tomfoolery involved in the Cubs allowing a bunch of self-indulgent yuppies to fantasize their youth around the field, denying the Cubs' extra practice, which was a rather widely reported thing at the time, but one which Jim Hendry practically flat-out denied.

Meanwhile, yours truly sat in line, on the opposite side of the room from Kurt & Jason, stewing at the realization that the whole production was put together with the idea of minimizing the number of questions asked, which would minimize the chances of uncomfortable questions being asked.

A typical round went like this:

Fan: Jim, blah blah blah blah blah?
Jim: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Lou: I'd like to add blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Dave Kaplan (WGN host and moderator): You know, that's an interesting point. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Spike O'Dell (Also WGN moderator): You know, I'd like to add, too blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

So each question got a painfully stretched out, six minute non-answer.

Making things worse was the old-timer in front of me who, as it turned, was at his 22nd convention (in other words, ALL of them). And when a fan earlier asked about Wade Miller, this guy got all up in arms, turning around to me like I was supposed to console him because the only question rattling around in his rockhead had been asked.

So did this guy concede, realizing his question had been rendered moot, and sit down? Or did he come up with another question?

Answer: Neither. He proceeded to step to the microphone and ask about Wade Miller for the second freaking time.

Wouldn't have mattered, though. He was the last one up and there was still a questioner on Kurt and Jason's side. Oh well. My fault for not getting up sooner.

So, without further ado, here is the question, verbatim, which I had constructed on Tuesday, and had completely memorized by Friday afternoon (you know, before I started drinking, when Chuck actually helped me with a last-second revision), that I would have asked:

Lou, welcome to town. In 1984 this franchise led the National League in victories despite the fact that they played all 81 of their home games during the day. And in spite of the fact that night games have slowly and increasingly been integrated into the schedule, day baseball has always been a condition of the job. However, this did not stop your predecessor and some of his players from using day baseball as an excuse for poor and stupid baseball. My question to you, sir, is instead of blaming day baseball for poor play, tell us how you plan on using it to your team's advantage?