From today's Trib :

"Since I got here and way before I became GM, I realized how important it was for our fans that we do well," general manager Jim Hendry said. "We've had a bad year [in 2004] and a bad couple of months out of the gate.

If understatement can be a beautiful thing, this is a Van Gogh. This is the Heidi Klum of understatements, the Tuscany of the understatement World. It's awe-inspiring in its majesty. Hendo realises how important it is for the Cubs fans that they do well? Do you know, as important as I'm sure it is to him, I don't think he does know how important it is to us? Because, if he did, he might actually do something about it. And as for "having a bad year and a bad couple of months"... well, hands up who enjoyed 2004? Anybody? Bueller? That's what I thought. To be honest, with the Cubs fanbase and their payroll, any year in which they don't go to the playoffs is a bad year. Just let that sink in for a moment.

"I feel responsible, and I'll keep working as hard as I can until we get it right. No fans in the world deserve to win more than ours. And when it doesn't happen, I look at myself first. I certainly understand their frustration."

Translation : "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH this is what they want to hear, right Mr. MacPhail, blah blah blah." They say that empty vessels make the most sound, and this is a stunning example of the fact that words are cheap. Jim, you're saying the right things but your actions are notable by their absence. Until you've actually done something about this bloody mess, shut up, eh? You're just adding insult to injury.

I used to be an apologist for Jim Hendry. He's made some great trades and one or two very useful free-agent signings. But there have been too many expensive mistakes that are now coming back to bite him, and he doesn't know what to do about it. Well, there's one thing he can do to make us all feel better almost immediately - he can not go to work tomorrow. Go on, Jim - just pick up the 'phone and tell the Trib that you're not doing it any more, out of deference to those "greatest fans". Perhaps we can find ourselves a GM who doesn't freeze when the fertiliser hits the ventilator.

Yeah, I know, Goatriders is supposed to be a humorous look at the Cubs - but really, where's the funny in all this? I ask you, eh?

Bah, humbug.