Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Welcome to Tasty Trades, may I take your order please?

Um, yeah, I'd like an Outfield Delight, a Leadoff Special, aaaaaannnd...a Coke.

Sir, would you like to make that a combo?

Yeah, that'd be great, thanks.

Thank you sir, that'll be 2 pitching prospects and a DuBois. Please pull around.

There is a crisis in Chicago. And his name is Corey Patterson.

(*channeling Jon Stewart*)

Oh, Corey! Maker of Outs! Lord of Crapitude...why do you haunt our lineup so?

(alright, me again)

The Cubs are in desperate need of acquiring a player who is clearly a leadoff hitter. Now, this may seem obvious to everyone here, but I didn't actually believe that before. You see, I come from the school of thought where having good players is more important than being able to fill all the pre-defined lineup protypes. Why do I care if my leadoff hitter is speedy and scrappy? I just want him to be a good player. But seeing Corey disease this lineup has changed me.

I long for a Mark Kotsay. He is the sort of player that Dusty would identify as a leadoff hitter. Of course, I would think that Walker is another player who would be tabbed for the leadoff slot, but clearly that is faulty thinking on my part. I guess he just doesn't look like a leadoff hitter. This is where Kotsay would work...Dusty would most certainly lead him off. He has the leadoff stink on him. And then Corey would be forced either out of the lineup or way down in the lineup. And there would be much rejoicing.


I still doubt that he would move Neifi! out of the two hole (perhaps swapping him with Walker), but it would be a start. And then maybe, just maybe, Derrek Lee would have a couple people on base in front of him. But if I see one more lineup like todays, I will be very mad. And my rage will be both mighty and impotent. Take a look at this load of suck:

C. Patterson CF
N. Perez SS
D. Lee 1B
J. Burnitz RF
T. Walker 2B
T. Hollandsworth LF
J. Macias 3B
H. Blanco C
M. Prior P

Personally, I would move Prior up a couple slots to maximize production. It is great to have the 3 aces back together again, but these Cub lineups are never going to score enough runs to win. Let's trade for Kotsay and then we can run out:

Kotsay CF
Walker 2B
Lee 1B
Burnitz RF
Ramirez 3B
Barrett C
DuBois LF
Neifi! SS

Now that looks like a lineup.

Regarding the Bullpen

Fear the Midseason Bullpen Acquisition! They will call out to you with their Siren's song, but proceed with caution. The July 31st bullpen purchase is sort of like buying beer at a ballpark. You know it is drastically overpriced, but they have the market cornered, so you fork over the cash and take your Old Style. And in the end, it ends up costing you a lot more than the happiness it brings - especially in the long run.

I'm not saying that there isn't a time and a place for the Midseason Bullpen Acquisition, just that it needs to be a well reasoned decision. But who am I to judge...based on my in-game Old Style purchasing pattern, I'd just keep acquiring relievers until the league cut me off. Budget be damned!

Hit the phones Hendry, but proceed with caution. Remember Ed Lynch.


Come on now, he went 2 for 5...Corey is not that bad, its called a slump for a reason. I'm going to laugh if we do trade him and this time next year we're bemoaning not having him in the outfield. Get Kotsay. Move Corey to left and let him bat 7th, but don't get rid of him. he's been getting better lately, and i don't want him to figure it out somewhere else


I've never heard of someone having a two-year-long slump before...


If we get Kotsay, should we start spelling his name "Cotsay"?

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