Goatriders of the Apocalypse

The one where Neifi! was Clutch

Imagine that you're walking down a busy intersection when a man passes you by. As he brushes past you, you feel a weight in your pocket. You look down and are astonished to discover that the stranger in the crowd had slipped an envelope full of Franklins into your pocket. Just then, the flow of the crowd pushes you into a building. Inside the building is a large group of over-sexed models who happen to be you-hungry.

It has to be a dream, right? Nothing that improbable could actually happen. Then you wake up, turn on the TV, and discover that Neifi (Neifi!) Perez won a game for the Cubs in extra innings by hitting a grand slam. At that moment, you might look to your left and right, and not feel so astonished to discover models to both sides, lying beneath a cover of money.

Of course, this is Cub Land, so it's still nightmarish when you wake up in the morning. After all, now that Neifi got lucky, we might have to deal with him batting first or second in the lineup. Dusty might now feel a little more vindicated by the use of his vets, all because he lucked into a victory last night in St. Louis.

And even if the season has tanked, last night was must-win. It's always must-win against the Cardinals, even if you're in last place in the division.

Tonight, the Cubs return to Wrigley where they'll battle the San Francisco Giants. Rich Hill will be in Chicago to start for the Cubs. He'll probably get smacked around like Nichole Simpson, but on the off-chance that he pitches like a rookie ace, his trade value might sky-rocket.

This is a series that the Cubs should win. They need to win it if they want to entertain the fantasy that they're still alive for the Wild Card.

It also might be nice to see a few new faces on the team by the time San Francisco splits town. Time will tell on that one.

Jason R.

Has anyone out there managed to catch Rich Hill pitch? I missed all the games he appeared in before he was sent down. I've heard his fastball is not so good, and obviously I've heard about his killer curve.

What's the deal? Is his fastball likely good enough to propel him past loogy?


Hill's heater is average (tops out at maybe 91 or 92, I believe), but his curve is fantastic looking. Definitely worth a shot at starting, although he's had trouble getting out righties at the ML level.

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