Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Has anyone ever checked Dusty for a thyroid problem?

At this point in time, I don't really effing care about the Cubs. The only excitement we have to look forward to in 2005 is when we actually DO hit rock bottom, how big is the mushroom cloud going to be? How many heads will roll? Who's gonna talk shit on their way out the door?

I just wanted to point out one thing today.

In 2003, Dusty Baker ran Lenny Harris out to third base for months, until Hendry mercifully took Harris away from him.

In 2004, Baker kept batting Sosa in the third spot for more than a half a season, then reluctantly dropped him to fourth, then fifth, then sixth. He also repeatedly trotted Tom Goodwin, Rey Ordonez and Ramon Martinez out in key situations, before all three were taken away from him.

This year, he kept batting Corey Patterson in key situations for three months until he could no longer endure the scrutiny of the press, and he has backed Neifi Perez for a similar length of suckitude, and continues to this day to do so.

Does he just not SEE? Is he s-l-o-w? Is he disinterested? Is he loyal to a fault? Is he too idealistic to manage a major league baseball team? Is his thyroid level too low, is he sluggish?

I understand that with 12 pitchers on his team, he isn't left with many options, particularly when your options include Macias, Enrique Wilson, Jerry (Naperville Tee Ball) Hairston, the overanxious Corey and the slipping-back-to-his-mean Neifi. Oh, and Henry Blanco, who owns the worst BA amongst active players with more than 1,000 big league at bats. You'd think that after 1,000 reps, you'd know enough to FAKE your way above .200.

Maybe he's biting off his nose to spite his own face, in an attempt to illustrate to his upper management the need for drastic roster management.

Naaaaah, that's giving him too much credit.

I think he's just sluggish, and is half asleep every day when he fills out the lineup card.

Lincoln Park Zoo

My head hurts from trying to figure out Baker. Couldn't we just donate our biting ape to take his place? Maybe he could motivate these guys back to mediocrity at least.

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