Goatriders of the Apocalypse


...who is this guy, anyway?

"...So he's sorta tall, with hair, and wears t-shirts sometimes."

Wait, no, wrong Preston. Seeing as how this is a Cubs blog, I should probably be talking about Preston Wilson, rumor du jour. And a rumor that I'm none too happy about, I have to say.

But wait a minute, he hits well at Wrigley! Thanks but no thanks, I liked that argument better the first time I heard it, when it was for Jeff Blauser and Luis Gonzalez. That worked out pretty well, right? The problem with acquiring players that kill Cub pitching is that you have suddenly taken away their cash cow (we'll call her ol' Bessy). And then the Cubs are left milking the goat (alright, I maybe that doesn't make sense, but I liked the cow/goat contrast). And nobody likes a goat milker. Nobody.

So what would the Cubs be getting? Wilson is a power hitting outfielder who strikes out a ton and can't get on base. Oh, and his numbers are inflated by Coors. And if the Cubs are sending Patterson their way, what are they giving up? A power hitting outfielder would strikes out a ton and can't get on base. And is four years younger than Wilson. And who plays better defense than Wilson. And who makes about 10 million less.

(*blinks rapidly*)

There are people out there that like this trade, right? Just because we would be getting rid of Corey? That makes sense (actually, it doesn't). But Hendry is a smart guy and I'm sure that he would not give up Patterson for Wilson. Because that would be insane. Honestly, I wouldn't give up anyone for Wilson. Given his salary and lack of production, Wilson holds negative value. If they would send over Wilson and half his remaining salary, then I would give up a B-level prospect. And after the dust settled, our outfield would still not be improved.

We have power guys that don't get on base. A whole bucket of them. Now Gary Sheffield I would like. He gets on base. And Aubrey Huff I would like, he gets on base too. We need someone who gets on base, not another wind-generating non-base-clogger.

Somebody get me a decent trade rumor so I can wash the taste of this Preston Wilson business out of my mouth. Seriously.


Couldn't have said it better myself. PLEASE, do not get an older, more expensive, Corey Patterson for Corey Patterson. This is a joke, right?

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