Night of the Living Spiced Ham
Things are starting to look up for the Cubs (which I guess answers the question below) despite the loss last night. Although the loss dropped the Cubs another game below .500, they have a great opportunity to get over that hump with Colorado coming into town. And given that, I think it is time for a renewed sense of optimism. Why? I have discovered further evidence in the news that the apocalypse is indeed upon us, and the Goat Riders will, um, ride in 2005.
Spam Zombies are apparently loose upon the world. These unholy denizens of the night are stalking the innocent and befouling the common high-speed connection with their gelatinous coating. Yes, my friends, the dead (and highly processed) have indeed risen from the (consumer marketing) grave.
But it's worse, because your computer could be infected now (right now!). Leaving your computer on at night leaves you open to the possibility of waking up under the baleful watch of a carefully molded meat product.
Nothing will stop this delicious salted meat of the undead...there are simply too many preservatives. The only hope it to band together and turned this damned pork product into spam-burgers, and fry them up good. Or, the other possibilty is to give in to the atrocity and celebrate it as just one of the many consequences of the Cubs winning the World Series, and look on the bright side of life. Spam Zombies are a small price to pay for a Cub Championship. And hey, that would make two things that you never thought you would see in your lifetime.