Let's all root for the Cubs! ...uh, except for a dozen or so of 'em!
When left facing a season of potentially epic catastrophy, one is forced to look at the small things. The ones that don't suck, I mean. We can ignore LaTroy Hawkins if we also ignore the big picture. Don't like Corey Patterson? Alright, he doesn't exist. Unhappy with the middle infield? Bam! Problem solved, forget about 'em! You want to send Dusty Baker out of town on the first L-Train? Dusty who?
Nope, the Cubs I root for might not be a complete roster, but I can root for them regardless! Derrek Lee is the Andre Dawson of the new millinium! Jason Dubois is a Rookie of the Year candidate! Mark Prior remains The Franchise! Carlos Zambrano is as crazy as ever! Jeromy Burnitz is... uh, better than sucky! And Michael Barrett is also mostly good!
See how easy it is? Just block it out. Pretend the bad stuff isn't happening. Hell, that's how minorities have survied in this country for centuries! If it works for them, it can work for us. (Ok, that and the occasional violent and justified rage against hypocrasy, but that comes later.)
In the meantime, the Cubs are urgent to avoid the June swoon this year by doing it in May. Actually, they've already pretty much pulled that off. But they desperately need to win a string of games in order to still be relevant. It's gotten so bad that even Dusty (Dusty who?) has lamented his team's inability to work the plate and draw walks. You know it's gotten bad when that happens.
I've said it before: Fire the hitting coach whose name I've currently mentally blocked from my mind so as to aleviate as much mental anguish as possible. Get someone who knows how to draw walks into the picture. Now!
Today is a must-win. At least the Cubs have The Franchise going. That will hopefully make it a little easier. Although, as of this writing, the Cubs are losing 1-0.
Go offense go! Boo-yah!