Goatriders of the Apocalypse

My mother always said...

if you don't have anything nice to say...



Oh wait, but my mom doesn't read this site (I bet you didn't think an apocalyptic goatman would have a mother. She doesn't get out much, granted, but she does exist (she most sews)) so I can go ahead and do a bit of observin' on our lowly Cubs.

Did we not learn anything from last year? I know Dusty was asleep at the helm, but what about everyone else? The last two games we have had zero (0!) hits with men in scoring position and have relied on the homer and nothing else. (sound familiar?) It is enough to make me want to stress eat (well, almost enough). But hey, don't look at me; I may have been responsible for tuesday's lack of runs, but I had no otherworldly influence on yesterday's game. So back off, buddy.

That wasn't even the worst of it. The most painful part of the game was watching Dubois and Hairston rot on the bench while Neifi and Macias rotted at the plate (sure Macias got a hit...shut up). Why did they even bring them up with the team if Dusty has no plans to use them as pinch hitters? They just should have come north with 14 pitchers (oo, Dusty got a little excited by that idea). So far in these three games, Dubois has 1 at bat, and 1 hit. That averages out to 54 AB's over the course of the season (but 54 hits too, which would be nice), or less AB's than your average pitcher. Hairston? Two AB's. It's just astounding that Baker can't see that Macias and Perez are his two worst players...it is like he has some sort of Tony LaRussa complex (which may be a strain of Herpes, I'm not sure. Pestilance?).

Okay, I have to pull back. This has taken on the form of an incoherent rant with short choppy sentences and a distinct lack of stylistic flow. Nobody likes a rant. Nobody (well, some people do).

Anyway, the Cubs get their day off (they must be exhausted) and will be bringing their big-ol'-bag of suck home to the Friendly Confines. Hopefully they can all swing a few slump busters and break out of this early season funk.


More than zero - Todd Hollandsworth's 3-run home run in game 2 came with men in scoring position.


Yes, and also the three run homer in yesterday's game. However, aside from the homers the Cubs seem to be in the old suits of last season of not getting the boys to home plate. There were lots of Cubs on bases yesterday and not much in the way of rounding third.

I know I know. it's only been three games. shut up.


Oh, sure, that's real fair. Well, if you are going to come at me with "facts" and "numbers" and "logic" than I'm taking my blog and going home. Famine on you.

I guess what I was try to note was the striking similarity to last year. All we heard about was how this was going to be a different year, and I am just wanting to see some sort of progress

George Davidson

If the only difference this year compared to last year is 4 more wins, we'll be in playoffs. I'd prefer to watch the club singling and doubling teams to death, but I like winning more than anything. Keep the faith. At least until May,


It IS concerning that Dusty likes Jose and Neifi more than Jerry and Jason. It's also concerning that, when trailing, the Cubs batters neglected to shorten their swings and try for singles and doubles. How many blasts that end at the warning track will have to be hit before the team follows through on the promise of creating runs, rather than relying on the homer?

It's too early to push the big, red panic button, but it's never too early to worry. But, I feel confident that Wood and Zambrano will right the ship against Milwaukee.


Runs? I'll tell you about runs. Why, in my day we didn't need no namby pampy home runs. No siree bob! Why, one time Ernie Banks went to the plate and used Ron Santo's leg to bunt a man over to third. Did you hear Ron crying about it? No you did not mister and this was while Ron's leg was still attached! Why, I remember a game when the cubs bunted 27 times in a row...and lost 15-0 but that was BASEBALL! This current team can score runs I bet. Look, Patterson leads off and sticks his head in the path of a fast ball. He goes to first but a fight breaks out and when nobody is looking he drags is partially paralized body to second. Dusty quickly changes his lineup, without the upms noticing this time, and sends in a pinch crawler. When the game resumes who should step out of the dugout but one, George, the Baron, Mitterwald! Pandemonium breaks out and the pinch crawler goes to third. Mitterwald at the plate. He takes a mighty swing and bounces the ball off the plate 50 feet in the air. The run scores.

I'm saying this is a reasonable blueprint for success that Dusty just doesn't seem to grasp!

Miss Fantastick

All of this is a repeat of last year. The only game so far that I've seen where the Cubs got more than 4 runs of of hits was game no. 1! AND THAT WAS IT!!

And since when is Kerry Wood going to get the ship going? The whole staff is held by Zambrano. Dempster sucks, Wood is ok(meaning only when he's healthy), Prior is supposedly injured(you'd assume that's why he's on the DL, but such isn't the case, they need roster room so Hendry can watch Dempster in his roster spot).

Basically, from an apocalyptic view.....

The ship is in harbor, but soon will prevail through a Viking funeral.


I like the big ol' bag-of-suck. I know have another new word in my vocab.

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