Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Big Z, Big Burnitz, and Twin Anchors

Yesterday, was a good game. Today, was a good game. I like yesterdays and todays.

I think the key to Chicago Cubs baseball is that Jason avoids the game at all costs. We lose on Friday on the day that Jason was very excited to attend an opening day, and win the other two games of the opening series. Coincidence? I think not (well, acutally I think so). I think that this goatrider will be dodging Cubs games religously.

Zambrano, as you may have noted at any of the other 82 Cubs' blogs, dominated like no other. What a game: the Cubs' best pitcher was on his game, willing the Cubs to a win. And there ain't nothing wrong with that (no, there is not).

But what about Maddux? Arguably the best pitcher of the last 50 years, was he up to following Big Z's lead? In a word: No. Nope, April Maddux decided to show up, and that is never a good thing. Four Runs (three earned) in a paltry 5 innings left the Cubs in an early hole.

(cue dramatic music)

But they battled back. Like Godzilla awoken from his slumber by a nuclear detonation, the Cubs rallied from behind, scratching out 3 runs in a homerless 6th (we like homerless this year...I'm not sure why). And just like that, we have a tie game. Which, for those that haven't been paying attention, is better than losing.

And that brings us to me. The Faminator. The Faminatrix. This is when, after having sat in traffic for an hour (coming back from visiting the in-law), I found myself at Twin Anchors. What a great bar. For those of you that have seen "Return to Me" (and clearly I've never seen this movie. I mean, what a chick flick *uncomfortable silence*), this is the same bar featured in that David Duchovny vehicle. The goatrider-ess and I sat ourselves down at the bar to catch the end of the game and what a game (do I say that a lot? I haven't been paying attention).

Here's the play by play...

Beer One) The Bullpen was the story here. Remlinger came in and proceeded to paint the outside corner with aplomb. I know I was impressed, where you? (say yes). Were you impressed that I used aplomb in a sentence (definitely say yes). He mowed the Brewers down for an inning+ and was more impressive than I remembered him from all of last year. Years from now, when Remlinger is working Vegas as a Billy Bob impersonator, he can remember the day that he impressed Famine.

Beer Two) Which then brings us to Glendon. Rusch excelled (finally) throwing 3 shutout innings, buying time for the Cubs offense. And lets be honest...the Cubs need time. But let's not pretend it was an easy outing for Glendy. His first inning (tenth inning), Glendon allows runners at first and third, but gets the strikeoout to end the inning. Second inning for Rusch (11th inning), we get 1st and 3rd, one out. But he wiggles out. And the 12th? Leadoff double that results in no runs. Drama, thy name is Glendon Rusch.

Beer Three and some free Margarita) The Cubs are up in the bottom of the twelfth (that's 12th, in case I spelled it wrong). Aramis grounds out to begin the inning which brings up Burnitz (the Burninator). On a three-two count, Burny takes a pitch off his shoe-tops and belts it Tiger Woods style off of the center field fence. Two batters latter...Cubs Win! And there was much rejoicing. (Whee!)

Ladies and Gentlemen...your 3-3 Chicago Cubs. You know you love 'em.

Chicago Tribune's Chicago's Best Blogs award