Goatriders of the Apocalypse

AwhoDunnit

At the end of January, Gene Wojciechowski, a writer for ESPN, wrote a story that was posted on ESPN.com titled Poison Ivy.

While the on-line version of the article was more of a fluff piece, ESPN basically re-ran the piece in its February 28 issue... with some changes. The actual article printed in the magazine was much different. The magazine piece came out about a month later, after Wojciechowski learned who busted up Sammy Sosa's boom box.

Excerpt from: Kiss him Goodbye: Year after Year, Chicago showed Sammy Sosa the Love, Then it showed him the door.

by: Gene Wojciechowski, ESPN the Magazine, Feb 28, 2005, p. 61 - 65

[After the last game of the 2003 season.]

So now they said their awkward goodbyes. There were handshakes, a few heartfelt hugs, the usual promises of off-season phone calls. Soon the clubhouse was all but deserted.

Except for several players with a grudge.

"Guys stayed late, had a few beers," says a Cubs official. "And there were bats around."

...

Much later, after Dusty Baker and even the clubhouse staff had left Wrigley for the day, one of the lingering Cubs, a veteran position player known for his intensity and unselfishness, grabbed a bat and made his way toward the double locker.

And there it was, the Gladiator's boom box. Many of the players hated that boom box, mostly because they resented how Sosa used it to mark his territory...

...

So what happened next was no suprise. The teammate stood over the black boom box with a bat and smashed the thing as if it were a hanging curve. In one anger-and-beer-fueled gesture, the coup d'etat was complete. This would never be Sosa's house again.

Emphasis Added.

This week, Wojciechowski was quoted in the Chicago Tribune ("Happy ending eludes author, Cubs Fans" Teddy Greenstein, March 15, 2005.) saying, "I'm sworn to secrecy," [Wojciechowski] said. "If I said who did it, the person who told me would be in some discomfort. All I can say is, it's probably not who everyone thinks it would be. I said it was a veteran position player, so we know it's not Kerry Wood. And it's not Todd Walker."

So lets have ourselves a regular boombox bashing investigation.

Players believed to have been in the Cubs clubhouse after the game Oct 3, 2004
Veteran Position Players

Derrek Lee

Mike DiFelice

Moises Alou

Aramis Ramirez

Neifi Perez

Todd Walker

Ramon Martinez

Mark Grudzielanek

Ben Grieve

Nomar Garciaparra

Todd Hollandsworth

Tom Goodwin
Non-Veteran Position Players

Corey Patterson

Michael Barrett

Jose Macias

Paul Bako

Jason Dubois

David Kelton

Calvin Murray
Pitchers

Carlos Zambrano

Greg Maddux

Matt Clement

Kerry Wood

Glendo Rusch

Mark Prior

Sergio Mitre

Kent Mercker

Ryan Dempster

Jon Leicester

Mike Remlinger

Joe Borowski

Michael Wuertz

LaTroy Hawkins

Todd Wellemeyer

Andy Pratt

a veteran position player known for his intensity and unselfishness

Well, the veteran position player part of that description eliminates the 23 players in the second and third columns. The Tribune quote eliminates Todd Walker, leaving us with eleven suspects.

Now, as a betting man, I would go ahead and eliminate Ben Grieve, Neifi Perez, and Mike DiFelice. These guys had a combined three months of experience with the Cubs. So I'm guessing none of those players had built up enough animosity towards the boom box to go postal on Sammy's song machine... even with a few beers in 'em.

known for his intensity and unselfishness: Of the remaining eight, I'm trying to think of guys who might be intense... lets see here.

Well... Moises might be intense

Well, if you say so. I guess Mo might be considered an intense player. Is he unselfish? Well, considering how the Cubs players, to a man, will tell you how great of a clubhouse guy Alou was, I'll bet he's probably unselfish.

My top three suspects?

Moises Alou

Derrek Lee

Tom Goodwin

But beyond a reasonable doubt? That is a tough call.

The one thing I know sure, it surely is AwhoDunnit.

Awhodunnit with video tape surveilance evidence!

bigcubsfan

Barrett is also a veteran...and my pick.

CT

I'm going with Lee. I've got no evidence to back me up, just that he seems like a guy who kept his frustration bottled up, didn't bitch, whine or complain. So my theory is, that he finally just snapped.

Miss Fantastick

Ha, you know, some speculation said that it was a starter who did it, maybe. Here's a list of suspects....

Maddux
Wood
Prior
Zambrano
Clement

You can scrath off Maddux and Clement. Maddux wouldn't do that and Clement would've strained his neck.

That leaves Zambrano, Prior, and Wood.

Take out Z, he wouldn't do that because he looks up to Sammy as a player, or so he's said before.

Leaving just Wood and Prior gives me the idea that the Franchise did it. And here's why.....

HE DAMN NEAR OWNS THAT CLUBHOUSE!!!

Ever since being in Chicago he's been a favorite. Word has it that Sammy and Prior had a tiff over the music that was being played one day. Prior wanted some rock 'n roll, and Sammy wanted his salsa. I don't know how it turned out, but it's safe to say that Prior should be a suspect in this whodunnit.

10man

Wood has denied though having anything to do with Sammy's boombox. If you're going with "veteran position player known for his intensity and unselfishness", you'd have to go with:
1) Alou
2) Grudz

those are the only 2 guys that fit.

kurt

I think it would have to be Grudz. I just can't see Moises doing that to Sammy, since they're supposedly friends as well as countrymen. Also, Grudz had a very weird quote from St. Louis earlier this Spring about how he and "a lot of other guys" broke it as a joke.

Sorta makes you wonder...

Miss Fantastick

Yeah, Grudz could do it. And besides, before Sammy was traded, look at how fast Grudz picked up that offer from St. Louis, maybe thinking of a rival situation to develop.

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