THE APOCALYPSE COMETH
From the four corners of Cubdom, shadowy figures cloaked in mystery come forth. Mounted on aging and angry goats, the four goat riders usher in a new era in Cubs baseball. BEHOLD! THE APOCALYPSE COMETH!
Futility has reigned supreme in Cubdom since the year nineteen hundred and eight. Much effort has been expended in an attempt to capture glory for the north-side baseball team. The years 1910, 1918, 1929, 1932, 1935, 1938, and 1945 represented pinacles of achievement, but each year and each team fell short of ultimate glory.
Following the year 1945, signs of the end-times were few and far between. False hopes gripped the world in 1984, 1989, 1998, and 2003. However, the grim reality of failure was not to be overcome, and the Addison Nine were defeated anew.
HARK! The end is near. The hope of generations approaches. The goat riders draw near, and surely the end of suffering will be upon us all.
Now heed the prophets of the apocalypse: Death, Pestilence, Famine, and Bob. Their wisdom and understanding is unmatched and... now is the time for hope.