Goatriders of the Apocalypse

GameCast: Cardinals vs. Cubs THE REVENGE!!!

Game Day
Carlos Zambrano (1-0 3.00 ERA) vs. Pb&J Walters (-)
Story-lines
The hate between Cardinal and Cub fans is real.  For those of us who live on the periphery of Cubs baseball, it doesn't seem so bad.  I admit that I have to resist the temptation to taunt anybody I see wearing a Cardinals hat when I'm oot and aboot* in Toronto, but I don't feel any particularly strong feelings toward the birds or their fans for the most part.

(*note: we don't really talk like that.  We also don't live in igloos, our bacon looks like your bacon, and yes, we have socialized health care.  Suck it, America)

But I have to admit - I feel a little more anxious whenever the Cubs play the Cardinals.  For whatever reason, I don't want the Cubs to lose to them.  I don't want to be embarrassed.  So, yesterday's opening shot across the Cubs-Cardinals bow was an unfortunate one. 

Today, though, the Cubs face a rookie pitcher making his major league debut in a hostile ballpark.  There will be REVENGE! 

Who's hot
Alfonso Soriano - Another hit and 2 walks yesterday gives the Fonz a .308 AVG and .400 OBP start to the '09 season.  I still believe that the Fonz is a prolific slow starter and I'm expecting a 1 for 20 drought sometime before May.  Still, he's doing well -- for now.
Kosuke Fukudome - Last year, Fooky began the season like a monk on fire.  Okay, so that analogy doesn't exactly make sense, but think about it.  He starts out flaming, running around, waving his arms, and gradually stops moving and the fire burns out.  That was Fukudome.  Maybe we shouldn't get too excited too soon, but Kosuke has already hit 3 homers and is batting .375 on the season. 

Remember when, after an 0-fer on opening day, fans were calling for Kosuke to be deported?  He's given a big Fuku to those fans. 
Ryan Theriot - He is now batting .387 on the season.  I love how well the Fonz is playing, but doesn't Theriot make way, way more sense at leadoff? 

Who's not
Mike Fontenot - Uh oh.  If Dusty Baker was running this team, with Miles on the bench and Fontenot written into the lineup, his erasin' pencil would be looking real good right now.  Fontenot is batting .226 on the season after an 0 for 4 outing yesterday.  Who is your DeRo ...er, hero ... now?
Geo Soto - Sore shoulder, check.  1 hit to start the season.  Check.  .071 AVG so far.  Check.  Panic and fear - ehh, half-check. 

Conclusions
Just a friendly reminder, written with ardor and care. 

DO NOT FOLLOW SMALL SAMPLE SIZES!!!

Right now, somewhere in baseball there's a guy with a .400 AVG and 3 homeruns who will be demoted to the minors by July.  There's another guy in baseball right now who's batting .150 who'll be a finalist for the MVP award.  That's just the way it goes. 

Brash decisions about the roster is a move better suited for a Baker.  Yes, we're turning Baker into an insulting nickname, and probably our first photoshop of the season.  So don't Be a Baker - be patient with this team.  Much as you would certainly not buy into Fukumania based on his great start, don't sell your Geo stock just because he looks more confused right now than a straight man in a tranny bar. 

But I suppose I could be wrong about that.  I hope I'm not, though.

I take (some) offense

To the term "Baker" for that is my last name (no affiliation with Dusty....I am white). So let's pick a new name shall we? Like don't be a "Former Cubs Manager". Or don't be a Dusty.

Small sample size

And then there is Albert Pujols, who is kicking ass and taking names. And will likely do so all season. Ugh. I can't wait three more seasons for Boston to give this guy a $300 million contract to get out of the NL Central.

Dude--cheers to that! Can't

Dude--cheers to that! Can't wait for Pujols to be out of NL Central.

watch. st. louis will give

watch.

st. louis will give him the arch. and he'll stay and make us cry for eternity.

unfortunately, the mullet arch birds still suck.

oot and aboot

I've been to Ontario, and you guys totally do talk like that. At least the customs official did. He even said "eh". The American customs official coming back was pretty stereotypical, too.

I never said we didn't say

I never said we didn't say "eh," but mostly oot and abooters are old timers or hicks.

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