Goatriders of the Apocalypse

An open letter to Rob Neyer

Editor's Note: I recently wrote this EMail to ESPN writer Rob Neyer, who has displayed the terrible judgment of linking to Bleed Cubbie Blue on his ESPN column while ignoring GROTA.  I have sought to rectify this situation via EMail, which I have posted here in full.  Enjoy, and yes, my balls really are that big

Dear Rob,

My name is Kurtis Evans.  I am a well-known Chicago Cubs blogger who writes for the also well-known Goat Riders of the Apocalypse (www.goatriders.org).  You may have heard of us, we wrote the now groundbreaking story titled There Is No Curse, But We're Going to Name Our Blog After It Anyway. 

I'm writing to you primarily because I'm drunk.  No, wait, that's not right (or why). 

I'm writing to you because we would desperately like to see you add a link to our blog on your ESPN blogroll.  We are an established, compelling blog that mixes humor, analysis, and typos with ardant ferver.  We've received a lot of notice for our work - we were listed in 2005 as one of the three best Cubs blogs on the net by Deadspin.com, we've been recognized for our greatness by Chicago Magazine, we have been acknowledged as one of Chicago's Best Blogs by the Chicago Tribune and Trib writer Paul Sullivan, I personally was featured in an article written by your colleague Wayne Drehs, and do you remember that time the world almost secretly ended but then it didn't?  Yep, that was because of us.  On second thought, you probably never heard.

Now, I've written you about this before through your ESPN EMail tool.  I was shocked to never receive any kind of response, not even an "eff off, I don't got no time for this crap," which is usually the response I get when I EMail published writers.  I'm aware that at some point in the recent past, there was a bit of a hubbub because a blogger got all cranky and unprofessional on you because of a perceived slight when you refused to link them.

Let me just say, Rob, that we won't do that.  We're hardly not unprofessional.  (Wait, what?)  However, I AM posting this message on GROTA.  The world will know if you never respond, and ironically, I probably won't make a peep about it if in fact you DO respond. 

Regardless, because this has gone on for far too long, and dinner is almost ready, and because you must be convinced that I have in fact been drinking, I will conclude this message by saying one thing which is simply true:

You should link us to your blog because there is no other blog out there that is like GROTA.  Rather than give in and link us six months from now after being reduced to the shell of a broken man, you should stay in front of the movement and give us our props now. 

Also, if you'd like to improve your own visibility, we would probably consider interviewing you for GROTA.  We even have readers who aren't related to us!  Please keep that in mind.

Yours,

Kurtis Evans
kjsevans (at) gmail (dot) com
6xx-xxx-xxx9

Score

Chicago Tribune's Chicago's Best Blogs award