Goatriders of the Apocalypse


Much can be said about Colin Wyers, however the threat of legal action prevents us from actually explaining the incident involving the Malibu Barbie, a microwave oven, and the jug of corn syrup. Suffice to say all charges were dropped and whilst some believe the oven gloves were fairly conclusive we simply cannot ignore the fact that the detective in charge was a known Statist and had been recorded many a time talking about "those effing number crunchers". Colin Wyers is an innocent man, and we'd say that even if he lawyers didn't make us!

Colin Mockery in front of a 1954 computer

In his GROTA career Colin has quickly made himself the Stats King. It's like being a Bed King but not as comfortable at night. Colin rose to this position in large part because of his ability to count, a skill unique on the GROTA team, however his trip to the famous Zen Ballpark in Japan quickly made the rest of the GROTA team return their "Count to 10 in 11 easy steps" books to the library and give up all hope of catching the great stathead. Colin returned a wiser, more complete man (although some suggest the surgery helped with that aspect) and soon flooded Chicago with spreadsheets and line graphs. Jason gave up drawing pie charts on his iPhone and simply ordered himself some pie with it instead (the quick and easy to access phonebook helping considerably).

So remember, the next time you see a small child crying in the streets, just walk up to them and reassure them.... Chicago Colin will be along with some stats soon! And everyone knows that stats are way cooler than candy and puppies!

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