Soriano Sucks (read below to see why)
I’m sitting in the Denver airport, which looks like a bunch of teepees (very weird) and I thought now would be as good a time as ever chime in about Alfonso Soriano’s recent hot streak.
You might recall I made a post a while back about how I picked one Cubs player to hate on every year because I have a superstition that the more I hate a certain player the better he will play.
In that post, I decided to go with the crap-tastic (see how this thing works) Rich Hill. Obviously no amount of hate could save that bum from getting sent down to Iowa so I am going to abandon my attempt to boo Rich Hill to stardom.
Instead, I will now officially make Soriano my new object of loathing. All season I have been ragging on Soriano and how much he has sucked. Even in his current tear I have been giving him as hard a time as possible, which has made me look like a fool to all my friends and family members. It appears that while I hated Hill my superstitious powers were working on Soriano the whole time. He’s actually hitting the ball and being…productive. Amazing
So I’d officially like to welcome the catch-hopping, strikeout-artist loser Soriano aboard the pain train. You may be hitting balls out of the park but I’ll be the a-hole booing you like you’ve never been booed in your life.
I don't care if you have a batting average of .296 or if you have hit 10 homeruns. You suck.
ROADTRIP UPDATE #3: As I sit here in the airport writing this very post, a flight attendant came up to me and said, “Go Cubbies” (I was wearing my A-Ram t-shirt so don’t get any ideas about this attendant being a psychic or GROTA stalker). I feel much better about flying knowing I’m being taken care of by a fellow Cubs fans. After I get home to Chicago tonight, I will be heading out to Alaska tomorrow. I don’t expect to see many things Cubs-related things up north but who knows.