Goatriders of the Apocalypse

Game Recap: White Sox 6, Cubs 0

Recap
Alright, I didn't actually see the game today as the Gay Pride Parade conflicted, but I'm pretty sure there's nothing to say about a 6-0 loss.  If any other Riders would like to add to this "recap", feel free.  Instead of a classic recap, I thought I'd pass along some stat fun.

The Cubs offense has been bad.  Real bad.  And, of course, this is
nothing new to our loyal readers, but I thought I'd just throw out a
few numbers to highlight the tremendous badness of the Cubs' offense. 
Why do I do this?  Most likely because I hate our readers and want them
to suffer.  Or, at least, that my current working theory.  Anyway,
here's a list of notable figures:

  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Joe Cocker
  • 3.14159...

Hmm, not as elucidating as I had hoped.  Sorry about that.  Let's try a list of stats generated by the woeful Cubs' offense:

  • The Cubs have exactly two starters with OPS's above average: Lee
    and Fukudome. Yes, despite all Fukudome's efforts to destroy his
    leading performance indicators, he still has been above average for
    the season.  Everyone else?  Below average.  And if you take out
    Theriot (OPS+ of 97), nobody's within 10% of league average
  • Of the Cubs non-starters, only Jake Fox, Reed Johnson and...Bobby
    Scales have been above average.  That's one guy who's been up for a
    week, one guy who's on the DL, and one guy who's performing for
    farmers.  Aaron Miles?  He has an OPS+ of 30.  30.  Thirty. 
    Thiiiiiirrrrrtttty.  Hey Aaron, the suck store called and they're
    running out of you.
  • But that's okay, because Ryan Freel's their all time best seller
    with an OPS+ of -22.  NEGATIVE TWENTY TWO.  I don't even understand
    these numbers but I'm pretty sure that translates to a VORP of GO HOME.
  • Ted Lilly has hit better than Ryan Freel.
  • Honestly, so have I.

Get well, Aramis.  You are missed.  A lot.

So there's your recap.  If anyone else who like to share their favorite The Cubs' Offense Sucks moment, feel free to chime in.

Suck store

Hey Aaron, the suck store called and they're
running out of you.

Aaron Miles retort directed to Fukudome would be,"Why? You are their top seller."

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